Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 24 - Peeling the Onion
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 24 - Peeling the Onion
The Fourth Sep heralds a new ere in our recovery. Steps Four through Nine can be thought of as a process within a process. We will use the information we find in working the Fourth Step to work our Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eight, and Ninth Steps. This process is meant to be done over and over again in recovery.
There is an analogy for this process that is particularly apt. We can think of ourselves as an onion. Each time we begin a Fourth Step, we are peeling away a layer of the onion and getting closer to the core. Each layer of the onion represents another layer of denial, the disease of addiction, our character defects, and the harm we’ve caused. The core represents the pure and healthy spirit that lies at the center of each one of us. It is our goal in recovery to have a spiritual awakening, and we get closer to that by beginning this process. Our spirits awaken a little more each time we go through it.
The Fourth Step is a method for learning about ourselves, and it is as much about finding our character assets as it is about identifying the exact nature of our wrongs. The inventory process is also an avenue to freedom. We have been prohibited from being free for so long-probably all our lives. Many of us have discovered, as we worked the Fourth Step, that our problems didn’t begin the first time we took drugs, but long before, when the seeds of our addiction were actually planted. We may have felt isolated and different long before we took drugs. In fact, the way we felt and the forces that drove us are completely enmeshed with our addiction; it was our desire to change the way we felt and to subdue those forces that led us to take our first drug. Our inventory will lay bare the unresolved pain and conflicts in our past so that we are no longer at their mercy. We’ll have a choice. We’ll have achieved a measure of freedom.
The Fourth Sep heralds a new ere in our recovery. Steps Four through Nine can be thought of as a process within a process. We will use the information we find in working the Fourth Step to work our Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Eight, and Ninth Steps. This process is meant to be done over and over again in recovery.
There is an analogy for this process that is particularly apt. We can think of ourselves as an onion. Each time we begin a Fourth Step, we are peeling away a layer of the onion and getting closer to the core. Each layer of the onion represents another layer of denial, the disease of addiction, our character defects, and the harm we’ve caused. The core represents the pure and healthy spirit that lies at the center of each one of us. It is our goal in recovery to have a spiritual awakening, and we get closer to that by beginning this process. Our spirits awaken a little more each time we go through it.
The Fourth Step is a method for learning about ourselves, and it is as much about finding our character assets as it is about identifying the exact nature of our wrongs. The inventory process is also an avenue to freedom. We have been prohibited from being free for so long-probably all our lives. Many of us have discovered, as we worked the Fourth Step, that our problems didn’t begin the first time we took drugs, but long before, when the seeds of our addiction were actually planted. We may have felt isolated and different long before we took drugs. In fact, the way we felt and the forces that drove us are completely enmeshed with our addiction; it was our desire to change the way we felt and to subdue those forces that led us to take our first drug. Our inventory will lay bare the unresolved pain and conflicts in our past so that we are no longer at their mercy. We’ll have a choice. We’ll have achieved a measure of freedom.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Just for Today - January 17
Just for Today - January 17
January 17
Forgiveness
" As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving. At least we know that we are no longer intentionally making life miserable for people." Basic Text, p. 38
In our addiction we often treated others badly, sometimes deliberately finding ways to make their lives miserable. in our recovery, we may still have a tendency to pass judgment on others' actions because we think we know how that person should behave. But as we progress in our recovery we often find that, to accept ourselves, we must accept those around us.
It may be difficult to watch as someone's insanity manifests itself. But if we detach ourselves from the problem, we can start living in the solution. And if we feel affected by another's actions, we can extend the principle of forgiveness.
Just for today: I will strive to forgive rather than be forgiven. I will try to act in such a way that I feel worthy of self-love.pg. 17
January 17
Forgiveness
" As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving. At least we know that we are no longer intentionally making life miserable for people." Basic Text, p. 38
In our addiction we often treated others badly, sometimes deliberately finding ways to make their lives miserable. in our recovery, we may still have a tendency to pass judgment on others' actions because we think we know how that person should behave. But as we progress in our recovery we often find that, to accept ourselves, we must accept those around us.
It may be difficult to watch as someone's insanity manifests itself. But if we detach ourselves from the problem, we can start living in the solution. And if we feel affected by another's actions, we can extend the principle of forgiveness.
Just for today: I will strive to forgive rather than be forgiven. I will try to act in such a way that I feel worthy of self-love.pg. 17
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 16 - Courage and trust
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 16 - Courage and trust
Many of us, having worked the Fourth and Fifth Steps before, knew that this process always resulted in change-in other words, we'd have to stop behaving the same old way! We may not have been entirely sure we wanted that. On the other hand, many of us knew we had to change, but were afraid we couldn't.Two things we need to begin working Step Five are courage and a sense of trust in the process of recovery. If we have both these things, we'll be able to work through more specific fears and go through with the admissions we need to make in this step.
Many of us, having worked the Fourth and Fifth Steps before, knew that this process always resulted in change-in other words, we'd have to stop behaving the same old way! We may not have been entirely sure we wanted that. On the other hand, many of us knew we had to change, but were afraid we couldn't.Two things we need to begin working Step Five are courage and a sense of trust in the process of recovery. If we have both these things, we'll be able to work through more specific fears and go through with the admissions we need to make in this step.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 15 - Listening
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 15 - Listening
Listening
I speak because I know my needs,I speak with hesitation because I know not yours.
My words come from my life's experiences
Your understanding comes from yours.
Because of this, what I say,
And what you hear, may not be the same.
So if you will listen carefully,Not only with your ears,
But with your eyes and with your heart,
Maybe somehow we can communicate.
How often have you heard these statements? "You're not listening to me!"... "Why don't you let me finish what I'm saying?"... "If you only let me, I'll tell you!"... "I may as well be talking to a brick wall!... "You just don't understand!"... "But that's not what I said!"
If you hear any of these comments coming from your partner, children, friends, or co-workers, perhaps it's true that "you're not listening"--really listening to the people who are important in your life. Listening is the art of connecting with another person so you fully understand what they are saying and feeling. It is a vital and necessary skill needed in creating and maintaining a marriage, in parenting children effectively, and in working together and making effective decisions on the job.
I’ve had a problem with listening to others thru the years and sometimes still do. I am aware of it today so I try to do something about it. Somehow we get in the habit of thinking about what WE want to say instead of listening to what the other person is saying. Sometimes I catch myself starting to talk and then stop……. And my mind has just registered a word or two that the other person was saying before I interrupted them and it was something I wanted to hear. It’s kind of embarrassing when that happens but it doesn’t happen too often these days for me. I have learned to look at the eyes of the person speaking and try my best to concentrate on their words.
Everyone has something to say and they want to be heard just like you and I do. Lets try to be better listeners.
Listening
I speak because I know my needs,I speak with hesitation because I know not yours.
My words come from my life's experiences
Your understanding comes from yours.
Because of this, what I say,
And what you hear, may not be the same.
So if you will listen carefully,Not only with your ears,
But with your eyes and with your heart,
Maybe somehow we can communicate.
How often have you heard these statements? "You're not listening to me!"... "Why don't you let me finish what I'm saying?"... "If you only let me, I'll tell you!"... "I may as well be talking to a brick wall!... "You just don't understand!"... "But that's not what I said!"
If you hear any of these comments coming from your partner, children, friends, or co-workers, perhaps it's true that "you're not listening"--really listening to the people who are important in your life. Listening is the art of connecting with another person so you fully understand what they are saying and feeling. It is a vital and necessary skill needed in creating and maintaining a marriage, in parenting children effectively, and in working together and making effective decisions on the job.
I’ve had a problem with listening to others thru the years and sometimes still do. I am aware of it today so I try to do something about it. Somehow we get in the habit of thinking about what WE want to say instead of listening to what the other person is saying. Sometimes I catch myself starting to talk and then stop……. And my mind has just registered a word or two that the other person was saying before I interrupted them and it was something I wanted to hear. It’s kind of embarrassing when that happens but it doesn’t happen too often these days for me. I have learned to look at the eyes of the person speaking and try my best to concentrate on their words.
Everyone has something to say and they want to be heard just like you and I do. Lets try to be better listeners.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 14 - Surrender
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 14 - Surrender
Surrender
There's a huge difference between resignation and surrender. Resignation is what we feel when we've realized we're addicts but haven't yet accepted recovery as the solution to our problem. Many of us found ourselves at this point long before coming to Narcotics Anonymous. We may have thought that it was our destiny to be addicts, to live and die in our addiction. Surrender, on the other hand, is what happens after we've accepted the First Step as something that is true for us and have accepted that recovery is the solution. We don't want our lives to be the way they have been. We don't want to keep feeling the way we've been feeling.
What am I afraid of about the concept of surrender, if anything? What convinces me that I can't use successfully anymore?
Do I accept that I'll never regain control, even after a long period of abstinence?
Can I begin my recovery without a complete surrender?
What would my life be like if I surrendered completely?
Can I continue my recovery without complete surrender?
Surrender
There's a huge difference between resignation and surrender. Resignation is what we feel when we've realized we're addicts but haven't yet accepted recovery as the solution to our problem. Many of us found ourselves at this point long before coming to Narcotics Anonymous. We may have thought that it was our destiny to be addicts, to live and die in our addiction. Surrender, on the other hand, is what happens after we've accepted the First Step as something that is true for us and have accepted that recovery is the solution. We don't want our lives to be the way they have been. We don't want to keep feeling the way we've been feeling.
What am I afraid of about the concept of surrender, if anything? What convinces me that I can't use successfully anymore?
Do I accept that I'll never regain control, even after a long period of abstinence?
Can I begin my recovery without a complete surrender?
What would my life be like if I surrendered completely?
Can I continue my recovery without complete surrender?
Friday, January 13, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 13 - Progress.. not perfection
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 13 - Progress.. not perfection
Identifying the warning signs of relapse can and will show us our denial. Doing something about the warning signs will help us to recover. For example: As alcoholics/addicts, we have learned to lie as a means of protection for our using, feelings, thinking, and behavior. When we stop using, we may stop lying about it, but we will continue to lie about the rest. And addict at any point in recovery, if he has maintained awareness of his/her denial, will notice when he/she lies. The reasons for lying are always the same. "I don't want you to know what I really feel, think, or do." Recovery does not assume that we will stop lying, but rather teaches us to go back and tell the truth after we have lied. When we practice this enough, we will find that we lie less. It's progress not perfection. Taking a daily inventory or journaling of feelings, thinking, and behavior will help us recognize our denial and give us the opportunity to do something about it.
Identifying the warning signs of relapse can and will show us our denial. Doing something about the warning signs will help us to recover. For example: As alcoholics/addicts, we have learned to lie as a means of protection for our using, feelings, thinking, and behavior. When we stop using, we may stop lying about it, but we will continue to lie about the rest. And addict at any point in recovery, if he has maintained awareness of his/her denial, will notice when he/she lies. The reasons for lying are always the same. "I don't want you to know what I really feel, think, or do." Recovery does not assume that we will stop lying, but rather teaches us to go back and tell the truth after we have lied. When we practice this enough, we will find that we lie less. It's progress not perfection. Taking a daily inventory or journaling of feelings, thinking, and behavior will help us recognize our denial and give us the opportunity to do something about it.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 12 - Saying No
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 12 - Saying No
SAYING "NO".
People who cannot say "No" often do not know what they want or do not want. Frequently, these people think that "No" is a dirty word and that others will not like them if they say it. Being able to say "No" clearly and to mean it are indicators of respecting the self. Doing this means that we are able to take care of our own needs. Not being able to say "No" frequently means that we do not know what we do not want and we also do not know what we do want. Did I say that before? It is not a coincidence that "yes people" end up feeling angry, confused, and used, and not knowing exactly how they got that way.
It is also not a coincidence that people who never say "No" end up with people who rarely say "Yes" to them. These kinds of opposites really do attract each other and together they create a dysfunctional unit. Opposites may attract but similarities stay together. Not being able to say "No" means that we do not trust ourselves - we do not trust that we have rights and needs. It means that we have become more concerned with what other people want and need than we have with ourselves.
People who cannot say "No" are dancing in other people’s heads. This means that they are trying to figure out how to take care of others and, in order to do so, they have to try to figure out what motivates the other person. They are trying to passively coerce the other person into taking care of them. This sounds like manipulation and it is. By never saying "No" to anyone else's demands, or needs, we are expecting them to never say "No" to our own demands and needs. Furthermore, we are expecting them to dance in our heads and to know what we want and need even when we do not. The fact of the matter is that no one can really be in someone else's head; there is only room for one person per head and that is the person who owns the head. Dancing in someone else's head means that we are not spending time in our own heads. It means that we are not taking care of ourselves. It also means that we cannot know what we need and want.
Dance in your own head. Say "No" when you think that you do not want to do what is asked of you. Only say "Yes" to someone else when you are sure that your are giving a clean gift, a gift without strings. This means that you really want to do what is asked or expected of you and that you expect "nothing" back in return. Does this sound selfish? Good, it is. Does this sound self-centered? Only if you do not ever want to do anything for anyone else but you expect them to do everything for you.
People who cannot say "No" are generally very nice people who are trying to be good. These people tend to confuse being nice with being good. They really want to be genuinely helpful and they do not understand why their system produces so much anger and resentment. Once again, the solution lies in faulty training. There is another paradox here and that is that people who can never say "No" are not usually respected by others. Their nice behaviors are taken for granted and they are treated as victims or as not very important. People respect a "No" answer and when they then get a "Yes" answer at another time; they appreciate it more and know that it is real.
Practice saying "No." The world will not fall apart when you do so. Be clear in expressing how you feel. It makes life much simpler for you and for others. You will be surprised at how much people respect a clean, clear "No" and you will feel better about yourself for being truthful and for taking care of yourself. Everyone will win!
SAYING "NO".
People who cannot say "No" often do not know what they want or do not want. Frequently, these people think that "No" is a dirty word and that others will not like them if they say it. Being able to say "No" clearly and to mean it are indicators of respecting the self. Doing this means that we are able to take care of our own needs. Not being able to say "No" frequently means that we do not know what we do not want and we also do not know what we do want. Did I say that before? It is not a coincidence that "yes people" end up feeling angry, confused, and used, and not knowing exactly how they got that way.
It is also not a coincidence that people who never say "No" end up with people who rarely say "Yes" to them. These kinds of opposites really do attract each other and together they create a dysfunctional unit. Opposites may attract but similarities stay together. Not being able to say "No" means that we do not trust ourselves - we do not trust that we have rights and needs. It means that we have become more concerned with what other people want and need than we have with ourselves.
People who cannot say "No" are dancing in other people’s heads. This means that they are trying to figure out how to take care of others and, in order to do so, they have to try to figure out what motivates the other person. They are trying to passively coerce the other person into taking care of them. This sounds like manipulation and it is. By never saying "No" to anyone else's demands, or needs, we are expecting them to never say "No" to our own demands and needs. Furthermore, we are expecting them to dance in our heads and to know what we want and need even when we do not. The fact of the matter is that no one can really be in someone else's head; there is only room for one person per head and that is the person who owns the head. Dancing in someone else's head means that we are not spending time in our own heads. It means that we are not taking care of ourselves. It also means that we cannot know what we need and want.
Dance in your own head. Say "No" when you think that you do not want to do what is asked of you. Only say "Yes" to someone else when you are sure that your are giving a clean gift, a gift without strings. This means that you really want to do what is asked or expected of you and that you expect "nothing" back in return. Does this sound selfish? Good, it is. Does this sound self-centered? Only if you do not ever want to do anything for anyone else but you expect them to do everything for you.
People who cannot say "No" are generally very nice people who are trying to be good. These people tend to confuse being nice with being good. They really want to be genuinely helpful and they do not understand why their system produces so much anger and resentment. Once again, the solution lies in faulty training. There is another paradox here and that is that people who can never say "No" are not usually respected by others. Their nice behaviors are taken for granted and they are treated as victims or as not very important. People respect a "No" answer and when they then get a "Yes" answer at another time; they appreciate it more and know that it is real.
Practice saying "No." The world will not fall apart when you do so. Be clear in expressing how you feel. It makes life much simpler for you and for others. You will be surprised at how much people respect a clean, clear "No" and you will feel better about yourself for being truthful and for taking care of yourself. Everyone will win!
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
daily reflections January 10-UNITED WE STAND
daily reflections January 10-UNITED WE STAND
Untied We Stand
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.30
I came to Alcoholics Anonymous because I was no longer able to control my drinking. It was either my wife's complaining about my drinking, or maybe the sheriff forced me to go to A.A. meetings, or perhaps I knew, deep down inside, that I couldn't drink like others, but I was unwilling to admit it because the alternative terrified me. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women united against a common, fatal disease. Each one of our lives is linked to every other, much like the survivors on a life raft at sea. If we all work together, we can get safely to shore.
Untied We Stand
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.30
I came to Alcoholics Anonymous because I was no longer able to control my drinking. It was either my wife's complaining about my drinking, or maybe the sheriff forced me to go to A.A. meetings, or perhaps I knew, deep down inside, that I couldn't drink like others, but I was unwilling to admit it because the alternative terrified me. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women united against a common, fatal disease. Each one of our lives is linked to every other, much like the survivors on a life raft at sea. If we all work together, we can get safely to shore.
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 10 - Substitutes
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 10 - Substitutes
This was a post from one of our members from 2007 but it hits home, as what this man says was true for me also. My subsitute from my addictions was learning computers and designing and maintaining recovery sites for the last 7 years and plan on continuing as long as I can.------------------
Substitutes: ...............
When I first came into sobriety, I had to think of substitutes. No. Not substitutes like…beer for wine….or wine for vodka…. More like: 1) substitutes for the time in the day and night when I picked up. 2) substitutes for the time I was unconscious after picking up. 3) substitutes for the Persons, Places and Things with which I picked up. 4) substitutes for the way in which I thought about picking up. 5) substitutes for the way in which I felt emotionally about picking up. 6) and substitutes for the way in which I had liquefied my spiritual life.
Some of my substitutes were playing in AA softball games, writing poems and short stories, and riding shotgun when taking a wet to a detox.
I sort of gave up on acquaintances with whom I associated when I drank. I didn't see them for a long time.
I had to think of consequences and not passing out to stop the pain. I had to feel the pain inflicted by the big trauma, or my excuse for drinking. I had to remember not to pick at the scab of that sacred wound which had functioned as my invitation to alcohol. Picking at the would is called "rumination"...Chewing emotional hurts over and over and over again. Think of it as picking the scab off...again and again and again. And I wondered why I didn't feel better when I drank. It took fourteen years of therapy...but...things are not perfect, but a darn site more comfortable.
I had to solidify my spiritual life, first through church attendance and then through classes at a seminary. Then came the division of the religious and the spiritual and the broader acceptance of spiritual though the reading of other Religions, Philosophies and Theologies.
The biggest substitute were writing the little check marks in the columns of the fourth step, sharing it, and getting direction on how to do restitution for the garbage.
For some garbage, no restitution will be done. This is some of the institutional garbage. Given the circumstances I could not be responsible for the outcome or the psychotic episode which I was shoved into having.
Yes. I am dually diagnosed which means that I have at least two write ups in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. A good guesstimate of Dullies in Alcoholics Anonymous is about 35% while the guesstimate for Narcotics Anonymous raises to 50%.
So if you were told everything would get better once you were clean and sober, and now you are clean and sober and you feel like a tilted windmill, maybe you should think about seeing an Addictionologist who is also a Psychiatrist or Doctor of Psychology.
This is the Reader' Digest version of my traipsing around in A. A.
If you have substitutes, could you share them? .
This was a post from one of our members from 2007 but it hits home, as what this man says was true for me also. My subsitute from my addictions was learning computers and designing and maintaining recovery sites for the last 7 years and plan on continuing as long as I can.------------------
Substitutes: ...............
When I first came into sobriety, I had to think of substitutes. No. Not substitutes like…beer for wine….or wine for vodka…. More like: 1) substitutes for the time in the day and night when I picked up. 2) substitutes for the time I was unconscious after picking up. 3) substitutes for the Persons, Places and Things with which I picked up. 4) substitutes for the way in which I thought about picking up. 5) substitutes for the way in which I felt emotionally about picking up. 6) and substitutes for the way in which I had liquefied my spiritual life.
Some of my substitutes were playing in AA softball games, writing poems and short stories, and riding shotgun when taking a wet to a detox.
I sort of gave up on acquaintances with whom I associated when I drank. I didn't see them for a long time.
I had to think of consequences and not passing out to stop the pain. I had to feel the pain inflicted by the big trauma, or my excuse for drinking. I had to remember not to pick at the scab of that sacred wound which had functioned as my invitation to alcohol. Picking at the would is called "rumination"...Chewing emotional hurts over and over and over again. Think of it as picking the scab off...again and again and again. And I wondered why I didn't feel better when I drank. It took fourteen years of therapy...but...things are not perfect, but a darn site more comfortable.
I had to solidify my spiritual life, first through church attendance and then through classes at a seminary. Then came the division of the religious and the spiritual and the broader acceptance of spiritual though the reading of other Religions, Philosophies and Theologies.
The biggest substitute were writing the little check marks in the columns of the fourth step, sharing it, and getting direction on how to do restitution for the garbage.
For some garbage, no restitution will be done. This is some of the institutional garbage. Given the circumstances I could not be responsible for the outcome or the psychotic episode which I was shoved into having.
Yes. I am dually diagnosed which means that I have at least two write ups in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association. A good guesstimate of Dullies in Alcoholics Anonymous is about 35% while the guesstimate for Narcotics Anonymous raises to 50%.
So if you were told everything would get better once you were clean and sober, and now you are clean and sober and you feel like a tilted windmill, maybe you should think about seeing an Addictionologist who is also a Psychiatrist or Doctor of Psychology.
This is the Reader' Digest version of my traipsing around in A. A.
If you have substitutes, could you share them? .
Monday, January 9, 2012
Just for Today - January 10
Just for Today - January 10
Gratitude
"I'm very grateful to have come to believe."
IP No. 21, "The Loner"
Belief in a Higher Power can make all the difference when the going gets tough! When things don't go our way in recovery, our sponsor may direct us to make a "gratitude list." When we do, we should include our faith in a Power greater than ourselves on the list. One of the greatest gifts we receive from the Twelve Steps is our belief in a God of our own understanding.
The Twelve Steps gently lead us toward a spiritual awakening. Just as our addiction progressed, so does our spiritual life develop in the course of working the program of Narcotics Anonymous. The steps are our path to a relationship with a God of our understanding. This Higher Power gives us strength when our road gets rough.
Are we grateful for our deepening relationship with a Higher Power? Do we remember to thank God for each day clean, no matter what has happened that day? Do we remember that, no matter how deep our despair or how great our joy, the God of our understanding is with us?
Our recovery is a gift, a gift that we sometimes take for granted. Each day we stay clean, we can rejoice in our Higher Power's care.
Just for today: I am grateful for my relationship with a Higher Power that cares for me.
pg. 10
Gratitude
"I'm very grateful to have come to believe."
IP No. 21, "The Loner"
Belief in a Higher Power can make all the difference when the going gets tough! When things don't go our way in recovery, our sponsor may direct us to make a "gratitude list." When we do, we should include our faith in a Power greater than ourselves on the list. One of the greatest gifts we receive from the Twelve Steps is our belief in a God of our own understanding.
The Twelve Steps gently lead us toward a spiritual awakening. Just as our addiction progressed, so does our spiritual life develop in the course of working the program of Narcotics Anonymous. The steps are our path to a relationship with a God of our understanding. This Higher Power gives us strength when our road gets rough.
Are we grateful for our deepening relationship with a Higher Power? Do we remember to thank God for each day clean, no matter what has happened that day? Do we remember that, no matter how deep our despair or how great our joy, the God of our understanding is with us?
Our recovery is a gift, a gift that we sometimes take for granted. Each day we stay clean, we can rejoice in our Higher Power's care.
Just for today: I am grateful for my relationship with a Higher Power that cares for me.
pg. 10
daily reflections January 9-AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE
daily reflections January 9-AN ACT OF PROVIDENCE
An Act Of Providence
It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
My act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care and direction), came as I experienced the total bankruptcy of active alcoholism-- everything meaningful in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous and, from that instant, my life has never been the same. When I reflect on that very special moment, I know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down though this act of Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me-- one day at a time-- in the life-saving, life giving Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
An Act Of Providence
It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
My act of Providence, (a manifestation of divine care and direction), came as I experienced the total bankruptcy of active alcoholism-- everything meaningful in my life was gone. I telephoned Alcoholics Anonymous and, from that instant, my life has never been the same. When I reflect on that very special moment, I know that God was working in my life long before I was able to acknowledge and accept spiritual concepts. The glass was put down though this act of Providence and my journey into sobriety began. My life continues to unfold with divine care and direction. Step One, in which I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable, takes on more meaning for me-- one day at a time-- in the life-saving, life giving Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 9 - Hitting Bottom
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 9 - Hitting Bottom
Hitting BottomDespair and Isolation
Most alcoholics/addicts eventually hit a bottom in their active addictions. Bottom can be different for each individual, ranging from just not feeling well after drinking too much up to losing everything that you might have and cherish, and sometimes even your life.
I can only speak for myself when I talk about bottoms as it means something different for everyone. For me, I hit a lot of “bottoms” during my drinking days, ending up in jails, losing many material things, jobs, relationships and more, all due to my uncontrolled drinking. Once I had one drink I could not stop. It didn’t matter whether I had money to buy another drink; I always found a way to get one and more. Borrow, beg and/or steal to get that drink. No one was exempt from my attempts to use them to get another drink; family, friends and even people I didn’t like. You were all “fair game” for me. I could sell ice to an Eskimo when it came to needing that drink.
My agenda for so many years was going to jail regularly about every 3 to 4 years, doing on the average of 6 months and having probation when released. I was on either probation or parole from the time I was 15 years old until the age of 55, with very few time spans in between that I wasn’t. As soon as I was released from jail I would seek out the nearest bar or liquor store and it was on again for me.
I believe that I hit my bottom when I was released from prison in 1997 and realized that I had nothing to go back to, as I had known before. I had no home to go to as my wife had left me while I was away. She had finally gotten fed up with my going away and leaving her with all the problems and alone. As parole would not let me go to San Mateo County to my brother’s house, I ended up in the homeless shelter in Napa, as my money ran out quick.
I ended up going back with my wife in 1999 but I had not changed much as far as my drinking went. I still drank when I could get away with it, which was quite often, and she got fed up again and kicked me out. It didn't take long to get another DUI and I ended back in Napa Jail. Knowing I needed help, I did everything I could to get CRC (California Rehabilitation Center) and a program. I got it even though I had to plead to a five-year commitment. I had finally realized that I could not get clean and sober by myself. It was hopeless and futile to try it by myself. I had hit my bottom.
Hitting BottomDespair and Isolation
Most alcoholics/addicts eventually hit a bottom in their active addictions. Bottom can be different for each individual, ranging from just not feeling well after drinking too much up to losing everything that you might have and cherish, and sometimes even your life.
I can only speak for myself when I talk about bottoms as it means something different for everyone. For me, I hit a lot of “bottoms” during my drinking days, ending up in jails, losing many material things, jobs, relationships and more, all due to my uncontrolled drinking. Once I had one drink I could not stop. It didn’t matter whether I had money to buy another drink; I always found a way to get one and more. Borrow, beg and/or steal to get that drink. No one was exempt from my attempts to use them to get another drink; family, friends and even people I didn’t like. You were all “fair game” for me. I could sell ice to an Eskimo when it came to needing that drink.
My agenda for so many years was going to jail regularly about every 3 to 4 years, doing on the average of 6 months and having probation when released. I was on either probation or parole from the time I was 15 years old until the age of 55, with very few time spans in between that I wasn’t. As soon as I was released from jail I would seek out the nearest bar or liquor store and it was on again for me.
I believe that I hit my bottom when I was released from prison in 1997 and realized that I had nothing to go back to, as I had known before. I had no home to go to as my wife had left me while I was away. She had finally gotten fed up with my going away and leaving her with all the problems and alone. As parole would not let me go to San Mateo County to my brother’s house, I ended up in the homeless shelter in Napa, as my money ran out quick.
I ended up going back with my wife in 1999 but I had not changed much as far as my drinking went. I still drank when I could get away with it, which was quite often, and she got fed up again and kicked me out. It didn't take long to get another DUI and I ended back in Napa Jail. Knowing I needed help, I did everything I could to get CRC (California Rehabilitation Center) and a program. I got it even though I had to plead to a five-year commitment. I had finally realized that I could not get clean and sober by myself. It was hopeless and futile to try it by myself. I had hit my bottom.
Just for Today - January 9
Just for Today - January 9
Returning Our Sponsor's Kindness
"Our earliest involvements with others often begin with our sponsor"
Basic Text p. 55
Our sponsor can be an abundant source of recovery information, wisdom, and loving words. They've done so much for us. From the late night telephone calls to the hours spent listening to our recovery writing, they've believed in us and invested their time to prove it. They've lovingly and firmly shown us how to be honest. Their boundless compassion in times of turmoil has given us the strength to go on. Their way of helping has prompted us to seek our answers within ourselves, and we've become mature, responsible, confident individuals as a result.
Though our sponsor has given so generously and has never demanded repayment, there are things we can do to show our appreciation. We treat our sponsor with respect. They are not a trash can designed for us to dump our garbage in. They have their times of trial, just as we do, and sometimes need our support. They are human, have feelings, and appreciate our concern. Maybe they would like to receive a card in the mail or a phone call expressing our love.
Whatever we do to return our sponsor's kindness will enhance our personal recovery, not to mention the joy we'll bring to our sponsor.
Just for today: My sponsor has cared for me when I couldn't care for myself. Today, I will do something nice for my sponsor.
pg. 9
Returning Our Sponsor's Kindness
"Our earliest involvements with others often begin with our sponsor"
Basic Text p. 55
Our sponsor can be an abundant source of recovery information, wisdom, and loving words. They've done so much for us. From the late night telephone calls to the hours spent listening to our recovery writing, they've believed in us and invested their time to prove it. They've lovingly and firmly shown us how to be honest. Their boundless compassion in times of turmoil has given us the strength to go on. Their way of helping has prompted us to seek our answers within ourselves, and we've become mature, responsible, confident individuals as a result.
Though our sponsor has given so generously and has never demanded repayment, there are things we can do to show our appreciation. We treat our sponsor with respect. They are not a trash can designed for us to dump our garbage in. They have their times of trial, just as we do, and sometimes need our support. They are human, have feelings, and appreciate our concern. Maybe they would like to receive a card in the mail or a phone call expressing our love.
Whatever we do to return our sponsor's kindness will enhance our personal recovery, not to mention the joy we'll bring to our sponsor.
Just for today: My sponsor has cared for me when I couldn't care for myself. Today, I will do something nice for my sponsor.
pg. 9
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 8 - Trusting the Process
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 8 - Trusting the Process
When we are new to recovery it can be a very scary experience. We come into the program and find ourselves in rooms full of people that we have never seen, openly talking about things that have been bottled up in us for years and we wonder how these people can possibly be sharing things like this with another human being, let alone a room full of strangers. We may be setting in the back of the room squirming in our seat and feel that everyone is looking at us and it is very common to feel alone in a room full of people, for many of us.
For this reason i believe that the single most important thing we can do for the newcomer is “Make Them Feel Welcome”!
Some of us come in thinking we are the sickest person in the room and nobody could possibly have it as bad as us. Then we hear the first three people share and we realize, that maybe we are not as sick as we think we are.
The thing about regular meeting attendance is this, we can go to a meeting thinking we are unique in the problems we are dealing with and listen to people share things that are so much worse then what we are going through and they are walking through it clean! It gives us hope and we get to see first hand that we don't have to pick up that first time “No Matter what". We learn that by walking through the pain, we come out the other side stronger, as long as we don't pick up that first time!
If you’re new to recovery, I want to tell you, “Trust The Process”! Walking through the pain and fear, reaching out to total strangers, going to meetings even when you don't want to, opening your mouth and telling people who you are and what is going on in your life, asking people you have never seen before for there phone numbers, seeking out someone to ask to be your sponsor. It’s all part of the process. We all go through this, providing we are really here because we want to change our lives. It is called, “Willing to go to any length to change our life".
Most folks that have been in recovery for awhile can tell you that they found something in these rooms that they have been looking for there entire life, "Unconditional Love", "Acceptance", "understanding,"
"Hope”,” Higher Power", "Serenity", "People they love, respect and trust", "Freedom to be who they are without judgment or criticism"!
But they well also tell you that recovery does not happen by osmosis! You get out of recovery, what you put into it! How long you stay sick and live a life full of pain and fear, is entirely up to you!
The H.O.W. of the program, Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness.Honesty starts with being honest with yourself.
Open-mindedness involves trying new ideas and being open to suggestions.Willingness involves going to any length to change your life.12 Step programs are proven and time tested, they have worked for millions of people. I have found a home in these rooms and today I am living a life that far exceeds anything i could have ever dreamed possible. We Do Recovery, We Do Get Better, We Do Become Happy People That Can Live And Enjoy Life Again!
Trust The Process ( written by Jim, a member of our MSN group of the past) Thank you Jim for your words of wisdom.
When we are new to recovery it can be a very scary experience. We come into the program and find ourselves in rooms full of people that we have never seen, openly talking about things that have been bottled up in us for years and we wonder how these people can possibly be sharing things like this with another human being, let alone a room full of strangers. We may be setting in the back of the room squirming in our seat and feel that everyone is looking at us and it is very common to feel alone in a room full of people, for many of us.
For this reason i believe that the single most important thing we can do for the newcomer is “Make Them Feel Welcome”!
Some of us come in thinking we are the sickest person in the room and nobody could possibly have it as bad as us. Then we hear the first three people share and we realize, that maybe we are not as sick as we think we are.
The thing about regular meeting attendance is this, we can go to a meeting thinking we are unique in the problems we are dealing with and listen to people share things that are so much worse then what we are going through and they are walking through it clean! It gives us hope and we get to see first hand that we don't have to pick up that first time “No Matter what". We learn that by walking through the pain, we come out the other side stronger, as long as we don't pick up that first time!
If you’re new to recovery, I want to tell you, “Trust The Process”! Walking through the pain and fear, reaching out to total strangers, going to meetings even when you don't want to, opening your mouth and telling people who you are and what is going on in your life, asking people you have never seen before for there phone numbers, seeking out someone to ask to be your sponsor. It’s all part of the process. We all go through this, providing we are really here because we want to change our lives. It is called, “Willing to go to any length to change our life".
Most folks that have been in recovery for awhile can tell you that they found something in these rooms that they have been looking for there entire life, "Unconditional Love", "Acceptance", "understanding,"
"Hope”,” Higher Power", "Serenity", "People they love, respect and trust", "Freedom to be who they are without judgment or criticism"!
But they well also tell you that recovery does not happen by osmosis! You get out of recovery, what you put into it! How long you stay sick and live a life full of pain and fear, is entirely up to you!
The H.O.W. of the program, Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness.Honesty starts with being honest with yourself.
Open-mindedness involves trying new ideas and being open to suggestions.Willingness involves going to any length to change your life.12 Step programs are proven and time tested, they have worked for millions of people. I have found a home in these rooms and today I am living a life that far exceeds anything i could have ever dreamed possible. We Do Recovery, We Do Get Better, We Do Become Happy People That Can Live And Enjoy Life Again!
Trust The Process ( written by Jim, a member of our MSN group of the past) Thank you Jim for your words of wisdom.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Just for Today - January 8
Just for Today - January 8
January 8
Growing Up
"Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth."Basic Text p. 43
When our members celebrate their recovery anniversaries, they often say that they've "grown up" in NA. Well, then, we think, what does that mean? We start to wonder if we're grown-ups yet. We check our lives and yes, all the trappings of adulthood are there: the checkbook, the children, the job, the responsibilities. On the inside, though, we often feel like children. We're still confused by life much of the time. We don't always know how to act. We sometimes wonder whether we're really grown-ups at all, or whether we're children who've somehow been put into adult bodies and given adult responsibilities.
Growth is not best measured by physical age or levels of responsibility. Our best measure of growth is our spiritual condition, the basis of our recovery. If we're still depending on people, places, and things to provide our inner satisfaction, like a child depending on its parents for everything, we do indeed have some growing to do. But if we stand secure on the foundation of our spiritual condition, considering its maintenance our most important responsibility, we can claim maturity. Upon that foundation, our opportunities for growth are limitless.
Just for today: The measure of my maturity is the extent to which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority.pg. 8
January 8
Growing Up
"Our spiritual condition is the basis for a successful recovery that offers unlimited growth."Basic Text p. 43
When our members celebrate their recovery anniversaries, they often say that they've "grown up" in NA. Well, then, we think, what does that mean? We start to wonder if we're grown-ups yet. We check our lives and yes, all the trappings of adulthood are there: the checkbook, the children, the job, the responsibilities. On the inside, though, we often feel like children. We're still confused by life much of the time. We don't always know how to act. We sometimes wonder whether we're really grown-ups at all, or whether we're children who've somehow been put into adult bodies and given adult responsibilities.
Growth is not best measured by physical age or levels of responsibility. Our best measure of growth is our spiritual condition, the basis of our recovery. If we're still depending on people, places, and things to provide our inner satisfaction, like a child depending on its parents for everything, we do indeed have some growing to do. But if we stand secure on the foundation of our spiritual condition, considering its maintenance our most important responsibility, we can claim maturity. Upon that foundation, our opportunities for growth are limitless.
Just for today: The measure of my maturity is the extent to which I take responsibility for the maintenance of my spiritual condition. Today, this will be my highest priority.pg. 8
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 7 - AA didn't get me sober
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 7 - AA didn't get me sober
I read an interesting aritcle with the above title. After reading it, it reaffirmed what I thought. AA did not get me sober, it helped me STAY sober.
I was given some help on how I GOT sober, by the State of California, with a 3 year prison program sentence of which I did about 2 1/2 years including the after care programs. I had been in prison before and jails numerous times throughout my life, and always went back to drinking/drugging with released. This time was different.
While in the program, I was exposed to recovery processes and the 12 Steps daily. I was one of those that needed these things drilled into me for a lengthy time. Kind of like "Act as If", or "fake it till you make it" type of thing.
When I was finally released, I was scared, as I knew that if I went back to drinking again, I would end up back in prison or die! I started going to meetings on a daily basis, and started applying the 12 steps in my life. THIS is what keeps me sober. Living life on life's terms and keeping the 12 steps close by daily. Commitment, responsiblity and applying what I learn in life on doing good. There are days when I falter in these, but with the help of the 12 steps and other things I've learned, I manage to get thru the day using these tools, and remain sober/clean.
AA/NA and the 12 steps helped me stay sober/clean yesterday, and thru God's will, and my recovery tools, I'll make it thru today without a drink or drug.
For those that still may be OUT there, you need to stop drinking/drugging (even for a few hours), and then let the program and 12 steps help you STAY that way for the rest of the day, one day at a time. If you apply the 12 steps in your life, you MAY remain that way again for tomorrow. YOUR CHOICE!
I read an interesting aritcle with the above title. After reading it, it reaffirmed what I thought. AA did not get me sober, it helped me STAY sober.
I was given some help on how I GOT sober, by the State of California, with a 3 year prison program sentence of which I did about 2 1/2 years including the after care programs. I had been in prison before and jails numerous times throughout my life, and always went back to drinking/drugging with released. This time was different.
While in the program, I was exposed to recovery processes and the 12 Steps daily. I was one of those that needed these things drilled into me for a lengthy time. Kind of like "Act as If", or "fake it till you make it" type of thing.
When I was finally released, I was scared, as I knew that if I went back to drinking again, I would end up back in prison or die! I started going to meetings on a daily basis, and started applying the 12 steps in my life. THIS is what keeps me sober. Living life on life's terms and keeping the 12 steps close by daily. Commitment, responsiblity and applying what I learn in life on doing good. There are days when I falter in these, but with the help of the 12 steps and other things I've learned, I manage to get thru the day using these tools, and remain sober/clean.
AA/NA and the 12 steps helped me stay sober/clean yesterday, and thru God's will, and my recovery tools, I'll make it thru today without a drink or drug.
For those that still may be OUT there, you need to stop drinking/drugging (even for a few hours), and then let the program and 12 steps help you STAY that way for the rest of the day, one day at a time. If you apply the 12 steps in your life, you MAY remain that way again for tomorrow. YOUR CHOICE!
daily reflections January 7-AT THE TURNING POINT
daily reflections January 7-AT THE TURNING POINT
At The Turning Point
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.59
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing-- and able-- to change.
At The Turning Point
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.59
Every day I stand at turning points. My thoughts and actions can propel me toward growth or turn me down the road to old habits and to booze. Sometimes turning points are beginnings, as when I decide to start praising, instead of condemning someone. Or when I begin to ask for help instead of going it alone. At other times turning points are endings, such as when I see clearly the need to stop festering resentments or crippling self-seeking. Many shortcomings tempt me daily; therefore, I also have daily opportunities to become aware of them. In one form or another, many of my character defects appear daily: self-condemnation, anger, running away, being prideful, wanting to get even, or acting out of grandiosity.
Attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzes my efforts to change. It is only when I ask God for help, with complete abandon, that I become willing-- and able-- to change.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Just for Today - January 7
Just for Today - January 7
January 7
"Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is more than just a life without drugs. Not only is this way of life better than the hell we lived, it is better than any life that we have ever known."
Basic Text p. 103
Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others. We had none of the things that give life its sense and value. We took drugs in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness inside ourselves. Most of us wouldn't want to "recover" what we used to have.
Ultimately, the recovery we find in NA is something different: a chance at a new life. We've been given tools to clear the wreckage from our lives. We have been given support in courageously setting forth on a new path. And we've been given the gift of conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, providing us with the inner strength and direction we so sorely lacked in the past.
Recovering? Yes, in every way. We're recovering a whole new life, better than anything we ever dreamed possible. We are grateful.
Just for today: I've recovered something I never had, something I never imagined possible: the life of a recovering addict. Thank you, Higher Power, in more than words can say.
pg. 7
January 7
"Recovery"
"Narcotics Anonymous offers addicts a program of recovery that is more than just a life without drugs. Not only is this way of life better than the hell we lived, it is better than any life that we have ever known."Basic Text p. 103
Few of us have any interest in "recovering" what we had before we started using. Many of us suffered severely from physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Getting high and staying high seemed like the only possible way to cope with such abuse. Others suffered in less noticeable but equally painful ways before addiction took hold. We lacked direction and purpose. We were spiritually empty. We felt isolated, unable to empathize with others. We had none of the things that give life its sense and value. We took drugs in a vain attempt to fill the emptiness inside ourselves. Most of us wouldn't want to "recover" what we used to have.
Ultimately, the recovery we find in NA is something different: a chance at a new life. We've been given tools to clear the wreckage from our lives. We have been given support in courageously setting forth on a new path. And we've been given the gift of conscious contact with a Power greater than ourselves, providing us with the inner strength and direction we so sorely lacked in the past.
Recovering? Yes, in every way. We're recovering a whole new life, better than anything we ever dreamed possible. We are grateful.
Just for today: I've recovered something I never had, something I never imagined possible: the life of a recovering addict. Thank you, Higher Power, in more than words can say.
pg. 7
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 6 - Our Participation
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 6 - Our Participation
The Third Step decision may be too big to make in one leap. Our fears of the Third Step, and the dangerous thinking to which those fears lead, can be eased by breaking this step down into a series of smaller, separate hurdles. The Third Step is just one more piece of the path of recovery from our addiction. Making the Third Step decision doesn’t necessarily mean that we must suddenly, completely change everything about the way we live our lives. Fundamental changes in our lives happen gradually as we work on our recovery, and all such changes require our participation. We don’t have to be afraid that this step will do something to us that we’re not ready for or won’t like.
The Third Step decision may be too big to make in one leap. Our fears of the Third Step, and the dangerous thinking to which those fears lead, can be eased by breaking this step down into a series of smaller, separate hurdles. The Third Step is just one more piece of the path of recovery from our addiction. Making the Third Step decision doesn’t necessarily mean that we must suddenly, completely change everything about the way we live our lives. Fundamental changes in our lives happen gradually as we work on our recovery, and all such changes require our participation. We don’t have to be afraid that this step will do something to us that we’re not ready for or won’t like.
daily reflections January 6-THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER
daily reflections January 6-THE VICTORY OF SURRENDER
The Victory Of Surrender
We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized that I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory-- victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.
The Victory Of Surrender
We perceive that only through utter defeat are we able to take our first steps toward liberation and strength. Our admissions of personal powerlessness finally turn out to be firm bedrock upon which happy and purposeful lives may be built.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
When alcohol influenced every facet of my life, when bottles became the symbol of all my self-indulgence and permissiveness, when I came to realize that, by myself, I could do nothing to overcome the power of alcohol, I realized that I had no recourse except surrender. In surrender I found victory-- victory over my selfish self-indulgence, victory over my stubborn resistance to life as it was given to me. When I stopped fighting anybody or anything, I started on the path to sobriety, serenity and peace.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Just for Today - January 6
January 6
"How Does It Work?"
"I used to think that I had all the answers, but today I am glad that I don't"Basic Text p. 272
What are the two favorite words of most addicts? "I know!" Unfortunately, many of us arrive in NA thinking we have all the answers. We have a lot of knowledge about what's wrong with us. But in and of itself, knowledge never helped us stay clean for any length of time.
Members who have achieved long-term recovery will be the first to admit that the longer they are here, the more they have to learn. But they do know one thing: By following this simple Twelve Step program, they have been able to stay clean. They no longer ask "why"; they ask "how"? The value of endless speculation pales in comparison to the experience of addicts who've found a way to stay clean and live clean.
This doesn't mean we don't ask "why" when it's appropriate. We don't come to NA and stop thinking! But in the beginning, it's often a very good idea to reword our questions. Instead of asking "why," we ask "how": How do I work this step? How often should I attend meetings? How do I stay clean?
Just for today: I don't have all the answers, but I know where to find the ones that matter. Today, I will ask another addict, "How does it work?"
pg. 6
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 5 - Amends, Maybe?
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 5 - Amends, Maybe?
Some of us may still believe that we're just basically nice people who have never truly harmed anyone-except ourselves, that is. If we're truly stumped about who belongs on our amends list, or we have a vague idea that our family belongs there but we're not sure why, it could be that we're overlooking something or that our denial is still pretty thick. Sometimes, we're just not able to see the truth about certain situations, even after many years in recovery. A suggestion that many of us have followed is that if we think of someone to whom we seem to owe amends, but we can't think of the situation that resulted in our owing amends, we put the name on the list anyway. Sometimes we'll think of the "why" later on. We should do the best we can with this step for now, contact our sponsor, and keep working on our recovery. As the saying goes, "more will be revealed." We just need to keep an open mind, so that when the knowledge comes we'll be prepared to accept it.
Some of us may still believe that we're just basically nice people who have never truly harmed anyone-except ourselves, that is. If we're truly stumped about who belongs on our amends list, or we have a vague idea that our family belongs there but we're not sure why, it could be that we're overlooking something or that our denial is still pretty thick. Sometimes, we're just not able to see the truth about certain situations, even after many years in recovery. A suggestion that many of us have followed is that if we think of someone to whom we seem to owe amends, but we can't think of the situation that resulted in our owing amends, we put the name on the list anyway. Sometimes we'll think of the "why" later on. We should do the best we can with this step for now, contact our sponsor, and keep working on our recovery. As the saying goes, "more will be revealed." We just need to keep an open mind, so that when the knowledge comes we'll be prepared to accept it.
Just for Today - January 5
Just for Today - January 5
Recovery at Home
"We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden."
Basic Text p. 100
We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all.
We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are?
Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA.
Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me.
pg. 5
Recovery at Home
"We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden."
Basic Text p. 100
We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all.
We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are?
Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA.
Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me.
pg. 5
daily reflections January 5-TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
daily reflections January 5-TOTAL ACCEPTANCE
Total Acceptance
He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.152
Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism-- with no reservations whatsoever-- and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.
Total Acceptance
He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.152
Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism-- with no reservations whatsoever-- and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Just for Today - January 5
Just for Today - January 5
January 5Recovery at Home
"We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden."Basic Text p. 100
We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all.
We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are?
Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA.
Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me.pg. 5
January 5Recovery at Home
"We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden."Basic Text p. 100
We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all.
We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are?
Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs."
We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA.
Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me.pg. 5
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 4 - A Moral Inventory
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 4 - A Moral Inventory
A Moral Inventory
Many of us have a multitude of unpleasant associations connected to the word “moral.” It may conjure up memories of an overly rigid code of behavior we were expected to adhere to. It may make us think of people we consider “moral,” people we think of as better than ourselves. Hearing this word may also awaken our tendency toward rebellion against society’s morals and our resentment of authorities who were never satisfied with our morality. Whether any of this is true for us, as individuals, is a matter to be determined by us, as individuals. If any of the preceding seems to fit, we can alleviate our discomfort with the word “moral” by thinking about it in a different way.
In Narcotics Anonymous, in this step, the word “moral” has nothing to do with specific codes of behavior, society’s norms, or the judgment of some authority figure. A moral inventory is something we can use to discover our own individual morality, our own values and principles. We don’t have to relate them in any way to the values and principles of others.
Am I disturbed by the word “moral”? Why?
Am I disturbed by thinking about society’s expectations and afraid that I can’t, won’t, and will never be able to conform to them?
What values and principles are important to me?
A Moral Inventory
Many of us have a multitude of unpleasant associations connected to the word “moral.” It may conjure up memories of an overly rigid code of behavior we were expected to adhere to. It may make us think of people we consider “moral,” people we think of as better than ourselves. Hearing this word may also awaken our tendency toward rebellion against society’s morals and our resentment of authorities who were never satisfied with our morality. Whether any of this is true for us, as individuals, is a matter to be determined by us, as individuals. If any of the preceding seems to fit, we can alleviate our discomfort with the word “moral” by thinking about it in a different way.
In Narcotics Anonymous, in this step, the word “moral” has nothing to do with specific codes of behavior, society’s norms, or the judgment of some authority figure. A moral inventory is something we can use to discover our own individual morality, our own values and principles. We don’t have to relate them in any way to the values and principles of others.
Am I disturbed by the word “moral”? Why?
Am I disturbed by thinking about society’s expectations and afraid that I can’t, won’t, and will never be able to conform to them?
What values and principles are important to me?
daily reflections January 4-BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE
daily reflections January 4-BEGIN WHERE YOU ARE
Begin Where You Are
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.19
It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program.
At home or at work, though, it can be a different story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
Begin Where You Are
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.19
It's usually pretty easy for me to be pleasant to the people in an A.A. setting. While I'm working to stay sober, I'm celebrating with my fellow A.A.s our common release from the hell of drinking. It's often not so hard to spread glad tidings to my old and new friends in the program.
At home or at work, though, it can be a different story. It is in situations arising in both of those areas that the little day-to-day frustrations are most evident, and where it can be tough to smile or reach out with a kind word or an attentive ear. It's outside of the A.A. rooms that I face the real test of the effectiveness of my walk through A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Just for Today - January 4
January 4
The Love of the Fellowship
"Today secure in the love of the fellowship, we can finally look another human being in the eye and be grateful for who we are."Basic Text p. 89
When we were using, few of us could tolerate looking someone in the eye-we were ashamed of who we were. Our minds were not occupied with anything decent or healthy, and we knew it. Our time, money, and energy weren't spent building loving relationships, sharing with others, or seeking to better our communities. We were trapped in a spiral of obsession and compulsion that went only in one direction: downward.
In recovery, our journey down that spiral path has been cut short. But what is it that has turned us around, drawing us back upward into the open spaces of the wide, free world? The love of the fellowship has done this.
In the company of other addicts, we knew we would not be rejected. By the example of other addicts, we were shown how to begin taking a positive part in the life around us. When we were unsure which way to turn, when we stumbled, when we had to correct a wrong we had done, we knew our fellow members were there to encourage us.
Slowly, we've gotten the feel of our freedom. No longer are we locked up in our disease; we are free to build and grow and share along with everyone else. And when we need support to take our next step, it is there. The security we've found in the love of the fellowship has made our new lives possible.
Just for today: I can look anyone in the eye without shame. I am grateful for the loving support that has made this possible.
pg. 4
Just for Today - January 3
Just for Today - January 3
Our Greatest Need
"We eventually redefine our beliefs and understanding to the point where we see that our greatest need is for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out"
Basic Text p. 46
When we first arrived in NA, we had all kinds of ideas of what we needed. Some of us set our sights on amassing personal possessions. We thought recovery equaled outward success. But recovery does not equal success. Today, we believe that our greatest need is for spiritual guidance and strength.
The greatest damage done to us by our addiction was the damage done to our spirituality. Our primary motivation was dictated by our disease: to get, to use, and to find ways and means to get more. Enslaved by our overwhelming need for drugs, our lives lacked purpose and connection. We were spiritually bankrupt.
Sooner or later, we realize that our greatest need in recovery is "for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out" There, we find the direction and sense of purpose our addiction had hidden from us. In our God's will we find freedom from self-will. No longer driven only by our own needs, we are free to live with others on an equal footing.
There's nothing wrong with outward success. But without the spiritual connection offered by the NA program, our greatest need in recovery goes unmet, regardless of how "successful" we may be.
Just for today: I will seek the fulfillment of my greatest need: a vital, guiding connection with the God of my understanding.
pg. 3
Our Greatest Need
"We eventually redefine our beliefs and understanding to the point where we see that our greatest need is for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out"
Basic Text p. 46
When we first arrived in NA, we had all kinds of ideas of what we needed. Some of us set our sights on amassing personal possessions. We thought recovery equaled outward success. But recovery does not equal success. Today, we believe that our greatest need is for spiritual guidance and strength.
The greatest damage done to us by our addiction was the damage done to our spirituality. Our primary motivation was dictated by our disease: to get, to use, and to find ways and means to get more. Enslaved by our overwhelming need for drugs, our lives lacked purpose and connection. We were spiritually bankrupt.
Sooner or later, we realize that our greatest need in recovery is "for knowledge of God's will for us and the strength to carry that out" There, we find the direction and sense of purpose our addiction had hidden from us. In our God's will we find freedom from self-will. No longer driven only by our own needs, we are free to live with others on an equal footing.
There's nothing wrong with outward success. But without the spiritual connection offered by the NA program, our greatest need in recovery goes unmet, regardless of how "successful" we may be.
Just for today: I will seek the fulfillment of my greatest need: a vital, guiding connection with the God of my understanding.
pg. 3
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 3 - Insanity
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 3 - Insanity
Insanity
If we have any doubts about the need for a renewal of sanity in our lives, we’re going to have trouble with this step. Reviewing our First Step should help us if we’re having doubts. Now is the time to take a good look at our insanity.
Did I believe I could control my using? What were some of my experiences with this, and how were my efforts unsuccessful?
What things did I do that I can hardly believe I did when I look back at them?
Did I put myself in dangerous situations to get drugs?
Did I behave in ways of which I’m now ashamed? What were those situations like?
Did I make insane decisions as a result of my addiction?
Did I quit jobs, leave friendships and other relationships, or give up on achieving other goals for no reason other than that those things interfered with my using?
Did I ever physically injure myself or someone else in my addiction?
Insanity is a loss of our perspective and our sense of proportion. For example, we may think that our personal problems are more important than anyone else’s; in fact, we may not even be able to consider other people’s needs at all. Small problems become major catastrophes. Our lives get out of balance. Some obvious examples of insane thinking are the belief that we can stay clean on our own, or the belief that using drugs was our only problem and that everything is fine now just because we’re clean. In Narcotics Anonymous, insanity is often described as the belief that we can take something outside ourselves-drugs, power, sex, food-to fix what’s wrong inside ourselves: our feelings.
Insanity
If we have any doubts about the need for a renewal of sanity in our lives, we’re going to have trouble with this step. Reviewing our First Step should help us if we’re having doubts. Now is the time to take a good look at our insanity.
Did I believe I could control my using? What were some of my experiences with this, and how were my efforts unsuccessful?
What things did I do that I can hardly believe I did when I look back at them?
Did I put myself in dangerous situations to get drugs?
Did I behave in ways of which I’m now ashamed? What were those situations like?
Did I make insane decisions as a result of my addiction?
Did I quit jobs, leave friendships and other relationships, or give up on achieving other goals for no reason other than that those things interfered with my using?
Did I ever physically injure myself or someone else in my addiction?
Insanity is a loss of our perspective and our sense of proportion. For example, we may think that our personal problems are more important than anyone else’s; in fact, we may not even be able to consider other people’s needs at all. Small problems become major catastrophes. Our lives get out of balance. Some obvious examples of insane thinking are the belief that we can stay clean on our own, or the belief that using drugs was our only problem and that everything is fine now just because we’re clean. In Narcotics Anonymous, insanity is often described as the belief that we can take something outside ourselves-drugs, power, sex, food-to fix what’s wrong inside ourselves: our feelings.
daily reflections January 3-POWERLESS
daily reflections January 3-POWERLESS
Powerless
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-- that our lives had become unmanageable. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
It is no coincidence that the very first Step mentions powerlessness. An admission of personal powerlessness over alcohol is a cornerstone of the foundation of recovery. I've learned that I do not have the power and control I once thought I had. I am powerless over how other people think about me. I am powerless over having just missed the bus. I am powerless over how other people work (or don't work) the Steps. But I've also learned I am not powerless over some things. I am not powerless over my attitudes. I am not powerless over negativity. I am not powerless over assuming responssibility for my own recovery. I have the power to exert a positive influence on myself, my loved ones, and the world in which I live.
Powerless
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-- that our lives had become unmanageable. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.21
It is no coincidence that the very first Step mentions powerlessness. An admission of personal powerlessness over alcohol is a cornerstone of the foundation of recovery. I've learned that I do not have the power and control I once thought I had. I am powerless over how other people think about me. I am powerless over having just missed the bus. I am powerless over how other people work (or don't work) the Steps. But I've also learned I am not powerless over some things. I am not powerless over my attitudes. I am not powerless over negativity. I am not powerless over assuming responssibility for my own recovery. I have the power to exert a positive influence on myself, my loved ones, and the world in which I live.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 2 - A personal inventory
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 2 - A personal inventory
A personal inventory
The following questions address the general areas we want to look at in a personal inventory. There may be times when our sponsor wants us to do an inventory on a specific area of our lives, such as romantic relationships or our patterns at work, or our sponsor may have specific questions to add to this. We should always consult our sponsor on any step work we're doing.
Have I reaffirmed my faith in a loving, caring God today?
Have I sought out the guidance of my Higher Power today? How?
What have I done to be of service to God and the people around me?
Has God given me anything to be grateful for today?
Do I believe that my Higher Power can show me how to live and better align myself with the will of that power?
Do I see any "old patterns" in my life today? If so, which ones?
Have I been resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid?
Have I set myself up for disappointment?
Have I been kind and loving toward all?
Have I been worrying about yesterday or tomorrow?
Did I allow myself to become obsessed about anything?
Have I allowed myself to become too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?
Am I taking myself too seriously in any area of my life?
Do I suffer from any physical, mental, or spiritual problems?
Have I kept something to myself that I should have discussed with my sponsor?
Did I have any extreme feelings today? What were they and why did I have them?
What are the problem areas in my life today?
Which defects played a part in my life today? How?
Was there fear in my life today?
What did I do today that I wish I hadn't done?
What didn't I do today that I wish I had done?
Am I willing to change?
Has there been conflict in any of my relationships today? What?
Am I maintaining personal integrity in my relations with others?
Have I harmed myself or others, either directly or indirectly, today? How?
Do I owe any apologies or amends?
Where was I wrong? If I could do it over again, what would I do differently? How might I do better next time?
Did I stay clean today?
Was I good to myself today?
What were the feelings I had today? How did I use them to choose principle-centered action?
What did I do to be of service to others today?
What have I done today about which I feel positive?
What has given me satisfaction today?
What did I do today that I want to be sure I repeat?
Did I go to a meeting or talk to another recovering addict today?
What do I have to be grateful for today?
A personal inventory
The following questions address the general areas we want to look at in a personal inventory. There may be times when our sponsor wants us to do an inventory on a specific area of our lives, such as romantic relationships or our patterns at work, or our sponsor may have specific questions to add to this. We should always consult our sponsor on any step work we're doing.
Have I reaffirmed my faith in a loving, caring God today?
Have I sought out the guidance of my Higher Power today? How?
What have I done to be of service to God and the people around me?
Has God given me anything to be grateful for today?
Do I believe that my Higher Power can show me how to live and better align myself with the will of that power?
Do I see any "old patterns" in my life today? If so, which ones?
Have I been resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid?
Have I set myself up for disappointment?
Have I been kind and loving toward all?
Have I been worrying about yesterday or tomorrow?
Did I allow myself to become obsessed about anything?
Have I allowed myself to become too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired?
Am I taking myself too seriously in any area of my life?
Do I suffer from any physical, mental, or spiritual problems?
Have I kept something to myself that I should have discussed with my sponsor?
Did I have any extreme feelings today? What were they and why did I have them?
What are the problem areas in my life today?
Which defects played a part in my life today? How?
Was there fear in my life today?
What did I do today that I wish I hadn't done?
What didn't I do today that I wish I had done?
Am I willing to change?
Has there been conflict in any of my relationships today? What?
Am I maintaining personal integrity in my relations with others?
Have I harmed myself or others, either directly or indirectly, today? How?
Do I owe any apologies or amends?
Where was I wrong? If I could do it over again, what would I do differently? How might I do better next time?
Did I stay clean today?
Was I good to myself today?
What were the feelings I had today? How did I use them to choose principle-centered action?
What did I do to be of service to others today?
What have I done today about which I feel positive?
What has given me satisfaction today?
What did I do today that I want to be sure I repeat?
Did I go to a meeting or talk to another recovering addict today?
What do I have to be grateful for today?
twenty-four hours a day- January 2
twenty-four hours a day- January 2
A.A. Thought for the Day
What makes A.A. work? The first thing is to have a revulsion against myself and my way of living. Then I must admit I was helpless, that alcohol had me licked and I couldn't do anything about it. The next thing is to honestly want to quit the old life. Then I must surrender my life to a Higher Power, put my drinking problem in His hands and leave it there. After these things are done, I should attend meetings regularly for fellowship and sharing. I should also try to help other alcoholics. AM I DOING THESE THINGS?
Meditation for the Day
You are so made that you can only carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more. If you weight yourself down with the years behind and the days ahead, your back breaks. God has promised to help you with the burdens of the day only. If you are foolish enough to gather again that burden of the past and carry it, then indeed you cannot expect God to help you bear it. So forget that which lies behind you and breathe in the blessings of each new day.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may realize that, for good or bad, past days have ended. I pray that I may face each new day, the coming twenty-four hours, with hope and courage.
A.A. Thought for the Day
What makes A.A. work? The first thing is to have a revulsion against myself and my way of living. Then I must admit I was helpless, that alcohol had me licked and I couldn't do anything about it. The next thing is to honestly want to quit the old life. Then I must surrender my life to a Higher Power, put my drinking problem in His hands and leave it there. After these things are done, I should attend meetings regularly for fellowship and sharing. I should also try to help other alcoholics. AM I DOING THESE THINGS?
Meditation for the Day
You are so made that you can only carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more. If you weight yourself down with the years behind and the days ahead, your back breaks. God has promised to help you with the burdens of the day only. If you are foolish enough to gather again that burden of the past and carry it, then indeed you cannot expect God to help you bear it. So forget that which lies behind you and breathe in the blessings of each new day.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may realize that, for good or bad, past days have ended. I pray that I may face each new day, the coming twenty-four hours, with hope and courage.
daily reflections January 2-FIRST, THE FOUNDATION
daily reflections January 2-FIRST, THE FOUNDATION
First, The Foundation
Is sobriety all that we can expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning. As Bill Sees It,p.8
Practicing the A.A. program is like building a house. First I had to pour a big, thick concrete slab on which to erect the house; that,to me, was the equivalent of stopping drinking. But it's pretty uncomfortable living on a concrete slab, unprotected and exposed to the heat, cold, wind, and rain. So I built a room on the slab by starting to practice the program. The first room was rickety because I wasn't used to the work. But as time passed, as I practiced the program, I learned to build better rooms. The more I practiced, and the more I built, the more comfortable, and happy, was the home I now have to live in.
First, The Foundation
Is sobriety all that we can expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning. As Bill Sees It,p.8
Practicing the A.A. program is like building a house. First I had to pour a big, thick concrete slab on which to erect the house; that,to me, was the equivalent of stopping drinking. But it's pretty uncomfortable living on a concrete slab, unprotected and exposed to the heat, cold, wind, and rain. So I built a room on the slab by starting to practice the program. The first room was rickety because I wasn't used to the work. But as time passed, as I practiced the program, I learned to build better rooms. The more I practiced, and the more I built, the more comfortable, and happy, was the home I now have to live in.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Just for Today - January 2
Just for Today - January 2
January 2Take a deep breath and talk to God
"Sometimes when we pray, a remarkable thing happens: We find the means, ways, and energies to perform tasks far beyond our capacities."
Basic Text p. 44
Coping successfully with life's minor annoyances and frustrations is sometimes the most difficult skill we have to learn in recovery. We are faced with small inconveniences daily. From untangling the knots in our children's shoelaces to standing in line at the market, our days are filled with minor difficulties that we must somehow deal with.
If we're not careful, we may find ourselves dealing with these difficulties by bullying our way through each problem or grinding our teeth while giving ourselves a stern lecture about how we should handle them. These are extreme examples of poor coping skills, but even if we're not this bad there's probably room for improvement.
Each time life presents us with another little setback to our daily plans, we can simply take a deep breath and talk to the God of our understanding. Knowing we can draw patience, tolerance, or whatever we need from that Power, we find ourselves coping better and smiling more often.
Just for today: I will take a deep breath and talk to my God whenever I feel frustrated.
pg. 2
January 2Take a deep breath and talk to God
"Sometimes when we pray, a remarkable thing happens: We find the means, ways, and energies to perform tasks far beyond our capacities."
Basic Text p. 44
Coping successfully with life's minor annoyances and frustrations is sometimes the most difficult skill we have to learn in recovery. We are faced with small inconveniences daily. From untangling the knots in our children's shoelaces to standing in line at the market, our days are filled with minor difficulties that we must somehow deal with.
If we're not careful, we may find ourselves dealing with these difficulties by bullying our way through each problem or grinding our teeth while giving ourselves a stern lecture about how we should handle them. These are extreme examples of poor coping skills, but even if we're not this bad there's probably room for improvement.
Each time life presents us with another little setback to our daily plans, we can simply take a deep breath and talk to the God of our understanding. Knowing we can draw patience, tolerance, or whatever we need from that Power, we find ourselves coping better and smiling more often.
Just for today: I will take a deep breath and talk to my God whenever I feel frustrated.
pg. 2
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 1 - Powerlessness
Milkman's Reflections - Jan 1 - Powerlessness
Powerlessness
As addicts, we react to the word "powerless" in a variety of ways. Some of us recognize that a more accurate description of our situation simply could not exist, and admit our powerlessness with a sense of relief. Others recoil at the word, connecting it with weakness or believing it to indicate some kind of character deficiency. Understanding powerlessness - and how admitting our own powerlessness is essential to our recovery - will help us get over any negative feelings we may have about the concept.
We are powerless when the driving force in our life is beyond our control. Our addiction certainly qualifies as such an uncontrollable, driving force. We cannot moderate or control our drug use or other compulsive behaviors, even when they are causing us to lose the things that matter most to us. We cannot stop, even when to continue will surely result in irreparable physical damage. We find ourselves doing things that we would never do if it weren't for our addiction; things that make us shudder with shame when we think of them. We may even decide that we don't want to use, that we aren't going to use, and realize we are simply unable to stop when the opportunity presents itself.
We may have tried to abstain from drug use or other compulsive behaviors - perhaps with some success - for a period of time without a program, only to find that our untreated addiction eventually takes us right back to where we were before. In order to work the First Step, we need to prove our own individual powerlessness to ourselves on a deep level.
Over what, exactly, am I powerless?
I've done things while acting out on my addiction that I would never do when focusing on recovery. What were they?
What things have I done to maintain my addiction that went completely against all my beliefs and values?
How does my personality change when I'm acting out on my addiction? (For example: Do I become arrogant? Self-centered? Mean-tempered? Passive to the point where I can't protect myself? Manipulative? Whiny?)
Do I manipulate other people to maintain my addiction? How?
Have I tried to quit using and found that I couldn't? Have I quit using on my own and found that my life was so painful without drugs that my abstinence didn't last very long? What were these times like?
How has my addiction caused me to hurt myself or others?
Powerlessness
As addicts, we react to the word "powerless" in a variety of ways. Some of us recognize that a more accurate description of our situation simply could not exist, and admit our powerlessness with a sense of relief. Others recoil at the word, connecting it with weakness or believing it to indicate some kind of character deficiency. Understanding powerlessness - and how admitting our own powerlessness is essential to our recovery - will help us get over any negative feelings we may have about the concept.
We are powerless when the driving force in our life is beyond our control. Our addiction certainly qualifies as such an uncontrollable, driving force. We cannot moderate or control our drug use or other compulsive behaviors, even when they are causing us to lose the things that matter most to us. We cannot stop, even when to continue will surely result in irreparable physical damage. We find ourselves doing things that we would never do if it weren't for our addiction; things that make us shudder with shame when we think of them. We may even decide that we don't want to use, that we aren't going to use, and realize we are simply unable to stop when the opportunity presents itself.
We may have tried to abstain from drug use or other compulsive behaviors - perhaps with some success - for a period of time without a program, only to find that our untreated addiction eventually takes us right back to where we were before. In order to work the First Step, we need to prove our own individual powerlessness to ourselves on a deep level.
Over what, exactly, am I powerless?
I've done things while acting out on my addiction that I would never do when focusing on recovery. What were they?
What things have I done to maintain my addiction that went completely against all my beliefs and values?
How does my personality change when I'm acting out on my addiction? (For example: Do I become arrogant? Self-centered? Mean-tempered? Passive to the point where I can't protect myself? Manipulative? Whiny?)
Do I manipulate other people to maintain my addiction? How?
Have I tried to quit using and found that I couldn't? Have I quit using on my own and found that my life was so painful without drugs that my abstinence didn't last very long? What were these times like?
How has my addiction caused me to hurt myself or others?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)