Saturday, August 25, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Recovery 365 – August 23 – Hand Reaching Out..
Recovery 365 – August 23 – Hand Reaching Out..
“The hand is always reaching out. The newcomer is always arriving. I want to always be here. Nothing ensures my sobriety more than intense work with another alcoholic/addict. So my frequent contact continues to be the bright spot of my life. With 19 years and 8 months, I still feel like a newcomer. The promises say we will be amazed before we are half way through. What is half way through? Its daily F2F meetings for me. I’ve seen many who stayed away and then returned with a worse story. And many of them reported they were ok-sometimes for several years before they picked up and used. In fact they never thought they would drink or drug again. Their experience too, was and is there for me to take heed and learn from. I trust and pray that I have.”For me, lately I haven’t been to many f2f meetings as life got very busy for me in the last few weeks. Things are settling down now and I will return to my meetings as I need to personal contact with others like me. It’s amazing how I feel after just an hour with others in recovery. I always hear what I need to hear whether I know it or not. I do my best to share ESH to others so that they might hear something that they need to hear also. Even with life getting “busy”, I’ve managed to stay tuned into my recovery online and having the responsibilities that I have taken, it helps keep me clean and sober for another 24.
Milkman
Hand Reaching Out.. (From a member)
“The hand is always reaching out. The newcomer is always arriving. I want to always be here. Nothing ensures my sobriety more than intense work with another alcoholic/addict. So my frequent contact continues to be the bright spot of my life. With 19 years and 8 months, I still feel like a newcomer. The promises say we will be amazed before we are half way through. What is half way through? Its daily F2F meetings for me. I’ve seen many who stayed away and then returned with a worse story. And many of them reported they were ok-sometimes for several years before they picked up and used. In fact they never thought they would drink or drug again. Their experience too, was and is there for me to take heed and learn from. I trust and pray that I have.”Milkman
Monday, August 13, 2012
Recovery 365 - Love to Argue?
Love to Argue?
Do you ever find yourself enjoying a (good?) argument or debate with someone? Do you like matching "wits" with someone else? I was involved in a couple of posts on other boards lately, in regards to a couple of posts that I posted. I got, what I thought were negative responses to them, and found myself, Justifying? or trying to "come back" at them, with what amounted to nothing more, than justifying and debating with the individuals involved.
I found some satisfaction in going back and forth with them, and tried my best not to post anything that would really offend anyone. I know in the past, I would have "laid into them" with "witty words" that would have been meant to demean or ridicule. I know that I still get sarcastic (read the discussion on sarcasm) but I really believe that I participated in these threads, just to have some fun. (At others expense?) I'm not sure.
When I was in my active addiction, there was nothing I enjoyed more, that to argue. I could argue about something, even if I knew I was wrong. I think that I did this, just to show the other person they were wrong (even if they weren't, lol), or to find ways to justify my own opinions.
I know that I've changed positively in these old behaviors, but I realize that their still inside me to some extent, with my argumentive nature. What about you all? Do you enjoy a good argument or debate? Can it be fun, or does it end up hurting someone else, in some manner or way?
Milkman
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Recovery 365 – August 6 – Duck Quack.. Eagles Soar!
This was sent to me a few years back and I just love this and wanted to share it with everyone. Hope you all are safe, well, and enjoying your day. I know I am! .......... Milkman
Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.
He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .
He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'
Taken aback, Harvey read the card.. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment...
This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem.. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice...' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.'
Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.'
As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'
And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.
'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'
Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always.. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.
He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'
'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'
'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.
'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'
Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.
Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you... The ball is in our hands!
A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people.
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.
Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.
SORROW looks back, WORRY looks around, and FAITH looks UP... BECAUSE OF FATHER'S LOVE, I AM CHANGED!!! "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
May you all choose to Soar! ;-) Ducks Quack - Eagles Soar
No one can make you serve customers well....that's because great service is a choice.Harvey Mackay, tells a wonderful story about a cab driver that proved this point.
He was waiting in line for a ride at the airport. When a cab pulled up, the first thing Harvey noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. Smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for Harvey .He handed my friend a laminated card and said: 'I'm Wally, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.'
Taken aback, Harvey read the card.. It said: Wally's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destination in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment...
This blew Harvey away. Especially when he noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean!
As he slid behind the wheel, Wally said, 'Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.' My friend said jokingly, 'No, I'd prefer a soft drink.' Wally smiled and said, 'No problem.. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, water and orange juice...' Almost stuttering, Harvey said, 'I'll take a Diet Coke.'
Handing him his drink, Wally said, 'If you'd like something to read, I have The Wall Street Journal, Time, Sports Illustrated and USA Today.'
As they were pulling away, Wally handed my friend another laminated card, 'These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.'
And as if that weren't enough, Wally told Harvey that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for him. Then he advised Harvey of the best route to his destination for that time of day. He also let him know that he'd be happy to chat and tell him about some of the sights or, if Harvey preferred, to leave him with his own thoughts.
'Tell me, Wally,' my amazed friend asked the driver, 'have you always served customers like this?'
Wally smiled into the rear view mirror. 'No, not always.. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard the personal growth guru, Wayne Dyer, on the radio one day.
He had just written a book called You'll See It When You Believe It. Dyer said that if you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. He said, 'Stop complaining! Differentiate yourself from your competition. Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.'
'That hit me right between the eyes,' said Wally. 'Dyer was really talking about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes. I put in a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.'
'I take it that has paid off for you,' Harvey said.
'It sure has,' Wally replied. 'My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. You were lucky to get me today. I don't sit at cabstands anymore. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on my answering machine. If I can't pick them up myself, I get a reliable cabbie friend to do it and I take a piece of the action.'
Wally was phenomenal. He was running a limo service out of a Yellow Cab. I've probably told that story to more than fifty cab drivers over the years, and only two took the idea and ran with it. Whenever I go to their cities, I give them a call. The rest of the drivers quacked like ducks and told me all the reasons they couldn't do any of what I was suggesting.
Wally the Cab Driver made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like ducks and start soaring like eagles.
How about us? Smile, and the whole world smiles with you... The ball is in our hands!
A man reaps what he sows. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up... let us do good to all people.
Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar.
Have a nice day, unless you already have other plans.
SORROW looks back, WORRY looks around, and FAITH looks UP... BECAUSE OF FATHER'S LOVE, I AM CHANGED!!! "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Recovery 365 - August 4 - The Biggest Competition...
THE BIGGEST COMPETITION OF MY LIFE
How did I wind up here? How in the hell does an athletic woman who was brought up in a perfectly loving family of moderate to upper-income status and who has a very public, successful career end up an alcoholic?Hi. My name is Jill, and I’m an alcoholic. The first time I said those words 6 months ago, I was petrified. I was certain by speaking those words out loud, I would lose all my friends, all my family, my husband -- the whole shooting match. Alcoholism is for losers, right? Only low-lifes and scum “allow” themselves to become alcoholics.
My God, what I have learned in these 7 months to prove all of the above statements to be absolutely and utterly false.
How did this all start? I’m not quite sure. I did all the normal experimental drinking in high school on special occasions like the prom, graduation, etc. When I got out of high school, the drinking intensified as I turned legal drinking age. It’s what all my friends were doing, and I didn’t want to be left out of all the fun. Girl’s just want to have fun, right? I was all about having fun.
I guess nearly every sporting event I participated in after high school involved alcohol. Beer at the softball game, beer at the outdoor sand volleyball court, alcohol available at the baseball, football and basketball games I loved to attend. As I think about it, not many aspects of my life involved non-drinking activities. I love to camp, which also always involves sitting around the fire and – you guessed it – drinking. Let’s go skiing and then have a few drinks afterwards. Let’s go diving in some tropical climate and drink fruity rum drinks.
When I was 38, I got married and soon after moved west to California with my husband where we had no family or friends. But what the heck! We are adventurous and love skiing and the mountains and camping and hiking and the ocean. It was a perfect place for us – so we thought. Then I discovered wine country and grew a deep love and affection for wine.
About 18 months ago, I began to have the feeling something was wrong with me and my drinking. I wasn’t very much “fun” anymore, I was incredibly moody, and I was constantly walking around in a fog. I had helped myself become emotionally numb so that I wouldn’t miss the company of my family and my friends I had left behind.
My normal routine had become coming home, opening a bottle of wine, and pouring glass after glass until my husband got home. Well, he never gets home from work until about 7:30 or 8 p.m., so a lot of drinking can be accomplished in those 2 or 2.5 hours. He’d get home, I’d be moody or half in the bag, eat a little dinner and then pass out on the couch. That has been my life pretty much for the last year. What fun, huh?
My total wake-up call which happened two weeks ago was about as ugly as I can imagine. I don’t remember much, but I will share with you what I do remember. My husband was out of town for the week, and it was Memorial Day weekend. I took a nice long run that Saturday morning with the dog, and then came back and entertained the neighbor kids at the pool, where I decided to have a couple of beers. When I went back home a couple hours later, I decided to crack open a bottle of wine and watch a movie. I don’t remember the end of that movie. I also don’t remember anything else that happened until I “came to” about 2:30 a.m. on the couch with a bottle in my hand that had spilled all over me and the couch. Not only that, but the right side of my head was killing me. Not a hangover kind of pain, but physical pain. I went to the mirror to discover that I had a huge lump on my forehead and a black eye.
This is what I have pieced together of what happened that night. At some point in the evening, I went outside with the dog and started yelling at some woman who was mad at me for having the dog off-leash. During the fiasco, my little neighbor friend, Tina (who is 13 years old)heard me yelling and came out and saw all this and I guess had to help me back in the house. Not, however, before I fell flat on my face and nearly killed myself from the impact. At some point, I must have been in the hot tub, because I left the cover open. How I didn’t drown, I have no idea.
The next morning, I was horrified. I couldn’t piece anything together, and when Tina was talking to me about the previous nights events, I wanted to cry right there in front of her. I tried to take a nap, but the horror and fear of what had happened the night before gripped me so badly I could not rest. I had to stop drinking. I didn’t really care that I had nearly killed myself, I cared that I had made a total ass of myself in front of a young girl who idolizes me. My heart was broken and I had to admit my problem. Without my husband there, I promptly walked over to Tina’s Mom, Robin, who is a dear friend of mine, and admitted through my tears that I was an alcoholic.
To my shock, she hugged and told me she loved me and would help me in any way she could to help me get better.
The next hurdle was telling my husband. I picked him up at midnight at the airport that same Monday night, and though it was late and the timing less than perfect, I had to get it off my chest then and there, and I did. I told the one person I love most that I was an alcoholic. He held my hand, and told me he loved me and that he was proud of me for coming to this realization. He would be by my side every step of the way.
The next major hurdle was going to my first AA meeting. Oh my God, I had to sit in a room full of drunks and losers and admit I was just like them. I think that day I had talked myself in and out of going to that first meeting 50 or more times. Even 15 minutes before the meeting was to begin, I was calling one of my friends so that she would talk me into going. I finally just jumped in the car and plowed ahead. When I arrived, there were several questionable looking men standing outside of the door. One guy said to me, “Are you looking for a bunch of drunks?” I smiled and said yes. From that moment on, I was o.k. The group setting was a bit scary and there were a lot of AA rituals I was unfamiliar with, but the speaker that night was awesome. The speaker, Ron, talked about his long battle with alcoholism, and how he struggled and struggled for his sobriety. Today, he has been sober 28 years! He talked about his drinking, and how it totally ruined his career, but that he drank so that he would “feel comfortable in his own skin.” Oh, how I could totally relate to that statement.
While I didn’t lose my job, I didn’t lose my husband, I didn’t kill someone in a car accident, I didn’t have to take a drink in every morning to get through the day, I still truly believe all of that would have happened if I continued to drink. Blackouts had become all too common of an occurrence when I drank, and the thought that I could have gotten in my car and killed someone frightens the hell out of me. I could never live with myself if I harmed another person.
I have just begun my road to sobriety, but I am happy. I’m not saying it is easy, but I love what I am learning to become – a person who can look in the mirror and love myself for having the guts to face my problem head on.
I would be remiss to say I will be able to do this on my own. It is the love of God, the AA program, and my family and friends that have guided me and supported me thus far, and will guide me until the day I die. Today it is my greatest hope that one day I will be able to help someone else fight their way back to a sober life full of love, laughter and happiness.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Recovery 365 - August 1 - Another Meth Story
Below is a story from one of my past members about Meth. I am familiar with Meth and Speed and know the downfalls in life that it causes. Speed comes in many forms and there's isn't any form that I can think of that causes good things. My own brother died from repercussions of the drug.... 30 years after he got clean and sober. The Hep C that he contracted in 1966 came back to haunt him in 2004 and took his life. We all miss him dearly.
Milkman
Sxxxxxx's Personal Story
I am a 23 year old male. I live in Australia...I started using typical white powder cut speed when I was 15. That soon turned to what was to become my drug of choice "ecstasy"...I ate "X" every single weekend and a lot through the week for 7 and a half years.
When I turned 18 I received a compensation payout of $130 000, i can only account for $20 000 0f that today. I was so infatuated with a life of drugs by that time I spent it all in 3 years on drugs. The other 6 months I was using Meth all day every day.
Its strange you know for a while I was using Meth only on weekends or sometimes only every couple of weekends. That’s when I was still eating between 7 and 10 "x" pills a night. The Meth was just to top it off.
Then the pills seemed to be a waste of money, "Why am I spending this money on all those pills when I could be buying Meth with that money?"
And so it began. The money I was spending on pills was now being spent on Meth…and so was rent money, fuel money, bills money, every bit of money I could get my hands on. When I realized I could no longer afford my "habit" I built up quite a little network of people who could not get it unless it was through me. Therefore every time any one else needed it I would have to get it. I would take my "tax" out of the bag and of course be there for the use of the bag. Hence I was no longer paying for my now "addiction". I was using Meth before work, at work, after work. As I said, literally all day, every day for 5 months.
I could not see how this was a problem because as far as I knew no one could tell I was using. Little did I know I was breaking the hearts of all those around me as they stood bye and watched me slowly kill myself. My boss at work told me he was planning on firing me when I came to him and told him I was an addict. So although I thought I was fooling everyone I was actually affecting the lives of all those around me.
Meth was fun at first, and then as it started to create problems in my life I started using it to cover these problems. In effect, the bad things in my life were covered up and the good things seemed great. Then as time went on, the bad things stayed bad and the good things got worse. Then they got worse again and before I knew it the good things in my life became bad things as well. So I was just using Meth to cover up everything in my life. I was living on a cloud of Meth, not knowing what was high and what was reality and not really caring either.
When I realized I hated the idea of living a day without Meth, I admitted to myself I had a problem. The next day I told my father who had been in AA for 16 years. He also had a problem with drugs, but more so with alcohol. He embraced me and told me everything would be ok. I thought it would be ok.
The next 3 days were to be the worse 3 days of my life. The pain I went through coming off Meth was intense. I lasted 12 days clean before I relapsed. I went on a 6-day binge in which I did not sleep, eat or consider the feelings of those around me.
I then stayed clean for a couple of weeks, I was determined I could live clean from all drugs. Then I relapse on cocaine, it was only a one night thing and I didn’t really think anything of it. I stayed clean for a further few weeks, although I didn’t stop drinking alcohol. New Years Eve came and I was drinking and once again I used cocaine and ecstasy that night.
New Years Eve was to be the last time I used chemical drugs of any description. As I sit here writing this I am just short of 6 months clean from all Mind and Mood altering substances including alcohol and thanking god for every minute that passes in which I do not use the devils drug - the one, the only, the putrid METH.
I can honestly say that Meth came very close to taking everything I thought was special in my life, family, career, friends and other possessions. But I thank god he gave me a second chance to retrieve those thing and I hold them even closer now. What I did loose however was my sanity and my sense of self. I was hearing voices and seeing things that weren’t there, I was talking to people that weren't there. I had literally lost my sanity. When I say I lost my sense of self, I lost any spirit I had inside. I lost any feeling of feeling alive. I felt hollow and it hurt. In the end using just hurt, it used to cover my pain and now it was increasing my pain.
I now attend NA everyday. I am working the 12 steps of NA and my life has changed dramatically, I live a life today I didn’t know existed.
If everything I went through brought me to writing this and by writing this even one person out there can save themselves the pain of ADDICTION, I am more than happy to have gone through what I did...eyes open once more....
--Sxxxxx
Monday, July 30, 2012
Friday, July 27, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Recovery 365 - July 24 - A New Life
Recovery 365 - July 24 - A New Life
Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy, regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself, a new life of endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our awakening, through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
GRAPEVINE, DECEMBER 1957
Big Book page 28
We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "a design for living" that really works.
___________________________________________
Speaking for myself, a new life was given to me at age 53. It took a lot of circumstances coming togetherfor this to come about and I’m glad I was aware enough to see it. All of the promises have come true for me and my life has purpose today. As said above, I was drowning and I can attest that “the design for living” given to me really works.
Milkman
As Bill Sees It - A New Life
Is sobriety all that we are to expect of a spiritual awakening? No, sobriety is only a bare beginning; it is only the first gift of the first awakening. If more gifts are to be received, our awakening has to go on. As it does go on, we find that bit by bit we can discard the old life - the one that did not work - for a new life that can and does work under any conditions whatever.Regardless of worldly success or failure, regardless of pain or joy, regardless of sickness or health or even of death itself, a new life of endless possibilities can be lived if we are willing to continue our awakening, through the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps.
GRAPEVINE, DECEMBER 1957
Big Book page 28
We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men. What seemed at first a flimsy reed, has proved to be the loving and powerful hand of God. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, "a design for living" that really works.
___________________________________________
Speaking for myself, a new life was given to me at age 53. It took a lot of circumstances coming together
for this to come about and I’m glad I was aware enough to see it. All of the promises have come true for me and my life has purpose today. As said above, I was drowning and I can attest that “the design for living” given to me really works.Milkman
Monday, July 23, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Recovery 365 - July 20 - Treatment Centers
Recovery 365 - July 20 - Treatment Programs
I've heard a lot of talk about how Treatment and Recovery Centers don't send the right messages to the newcomers. Some say that it gives people the wrong information for THEIR particular program. I can only speak for myself when talking about the programs that I've been in. In 1988, the police came to my 
house about a disturbance that was going on. My wife and I were yelling and screaming at each other, and I was drunk as a skunk. The police took me to detox, where I ended up doing a voluntary 28 day program. I think that was what got me admitting that I was an alcoholic and that my life had become unmanageable. I learned a lot about myself, but obviously, not enough, as it took another 12 years of active alcoholism and addiction for me to finally surrender.
In Oct. of 2000, facing another prison term of 5 to 7 years for the last of uncountless drunk driving arrests, I pushed the courts to send me to CRC, the state program for addictions. The DA fought like hell to deny me this program, as in his words, "he's an alcoholic, not an addict". I had to go into my past and "prove" that I was an addict, and the judge in his words said, "Jails and prisons have not helped this man, we are going to try something different, and send him to CRC, and see what happens". Well folks, I haven't had a drink or drug since that last arrest. Yes, CRC was a program designed for the addict. But as the ongoing controversy goes, What the hell IS an addict? Everyone seems to have their own opinion of this, but for ME, the bottom line WAS..........I NEEDED HELP!!!!! I could not change my life around by MYSELF!!!house about a disturbance that was going on. My wife and I were yelling and screaming at each other, and I was drunk as a skunk. The police took me to detox, where I ended up doing a voluntary 28 day program. I think that was what got me admitting that I was an alcoholic and that my life had become unmanageable. I learned a lot about myself, but obviously, not enough, as it took another 12 years of active alcoholism and addiction for me to finally surrender.The program, although focusing on addiction, forced me to look at the way that I'd been living my life. Made me see things about myself that kept me "out there". Opened my mind, let me get honest with myself, and I got willing to do what I had to do to change things. When I got out, I was sent to an aftercare program that was based on Spirituality. Myself and another were the only Whites in a program of African Americans. Now if you've ever been to prison, you know what I'm talking about when it comes to the racial distensions. At first it was very distasteful there, but once I got to know the people it opened my mind and changed a lot of views that I'd grown up with. I learned to accept people for who they are, and not WHAT they are.
All the time I spent in these programs, I was taught about addiction. I went to NA, as that was what was available. Although I'm an alcoholic first, as that's my drug of choice, I was an addict also, as anything that altered my mind, was for ME. Today, I go to AA, as that's where I feel most comfortable at. I attend NA meetings from time to time, as I have to stay connected with those people that I'm like. ADDICTS! The AA that I go to doesn't have many closed meetings, and not much is said when people share not only about alcohol, but drugs as well. It is in an area that the members are mostly dual addicted and it is accepted. For those that don't want to accept it, there are the closed meetings, just for alcoholics. For those that want to abide by the singleness of purpose of either program, I do not object. Yes, I do want AA to be there for any of my ancestors that may have a drinking problem in the future. But I also want them to feel comfortable in ANY program, if they have other addictions as well. My group members are people from many different programs, and I believe that we can all learn from each other. I have no objection to those that want to talk about a specific program and follow their principles and guidelines. We can all learn from each other on how to deal with our day to day problems and stay clean/sober for another 24 hours.
For those with specific addictions, we will do our best to direct the newcomers to the program that may be best for them individually. For the alcoholic - AA, and for the addict - NA. There are many other programs for individual addictions and the programs are listed on the side under "Other Addictions". These are only my thoughts, opinions and experience. Have a great day all.
This was a post that I posted about 6 years ago on one of my sites. I still feel the same today. Below I've put in a comment from my post that one of our members posted in response to mine above. It's a great read and tells you might experience in a program like the one he went to. Enjoy the read as I did.
Milkman
Jim, on Treatment Centers
I am Jim a grateful recovering addict........NA This is my ESH on the topic of Treatment Center's and Detox facilities. I am in no way here to (advocate) for or (push) Treatment on anyone, simply to share my experience. I have been through treatment twice and I can tell you that all treatment center's are not created equal.
The first treatment center was in 1984 and it was a 60 day program based on 12 step meeting's (3 per day) and they pushed you through the first 5 steps in that 60 day's. They used a soft approach like, let us love you until you can love yourself and we see you are hurting so we will back off. I stayed clean for 1 year and went back out for 15 more years. The bottom line is, I always had a reservation in the back of my head that said, some day I can use again and I did!
On 3/17/02 I crawled into treatment for the second time a broken man, I was bankrupt in every sense of the word. I well refer to this treatment center as ( Carlton ). The first thing they asked me was if I needed to go to detox. I convinced them I was ok and I didn't need to go to detox. They assigned me a ( Big Brother ) another client that had been there awhile and his job was to show me the facility, get me settled in and teach me the rules. The first thing he did was give me a 3x5 notebook and pen and told me I was to keep this on my person at all times. Then he showed me the bathroom and pointed to a piece of paper on the outside of the door and said if you need to go to the bathroom you sign your name on this log, complete with the date and time and don't forget the two little dots and AM or PM on the time. I said you want me to sign a piece of paper before I go to the bathroom ? He said yes and when you are done you need to sign out ! LOL.....I thought omg what did I get myself into. But I had promised myself that I was not going to blow out of treatment and I made a decision to completely surrender to this place and do what ever they asked me to do.
Carlton is a 1 year commitment, 90 days inpatient,90 days out patient and 6 months aftercare. It is an intense behavioral modification program. Very few things in life could prepare a person for this place. It is very confrontational ( in your face ) approach and they do there treatment with sleep deprivation and a very high level of stress. On a good night you might get 5 hours of sleep. They attack behaviors in an effort to raise your awareness level. A large part of the program is ( support and consequence ) for example, If I get up from the dinner table and forget to push my chair back in and another client sees me do it, he takes out his 3x5 notebook and approaches me. He says Jim I would like to support you in the form of a consequence for chair unaware ( UA ) for short, then he will say, and my positive affirmation is ( whatever) like you are doing good in your treatment and I am glad you are here. The only proper response from me is thank you, nothing more nothing less, if I try to say anything else it is another consequence.
At this point I take out my 3x5 and I write down the time and date, who gave me the consequence and what it was for, he does the same. I have 2 hours to report it to mister C and he assigns me a task like washing a window or wiping a door frame. When done I report back to mister C and he checks it off as complete. There are more serious consequences like self will and sarcasm you write a 3 page paper on the offense and how it is detrimental to your recovery. Threatening and aggressive behavior is a dischargeable offense. For projecting an attitude, you get to pack a stuffed animal with you at all times for 3 days. You are to treat it just like a real child, if you forget about it and leave it in a room, you get supported for child abandonment and go before a make shift child services board and plead your case as to why you should be allowed to get your child back.
In Oregon we have a law on the books called measure 11,if you are convicted for assault it is an automatic 72 months in prison and the judge has no say in the matter. Well if you go off on someone in Carlton it is a measure 11 crime times how ever many people are in the facility at the time, which is normally around 30 people including staff and they can do this because it is suppose to be a safe place. Then they have processes that they put certain people on. If you have low self esteem they put you on a process that before you can engage in any conversation you first have got to say, I am a kind and gentle man worthy of love. Then you can talk to people. If you are a perfectionist, they make you ware two different shoes and mess up your room. All of this is going on with the daily treatment functions.
Your first assignment when you go in to Carlton is to write an autobiography going back to your earliest memory to the present and you have 1 week to complete it. Then you read it in front of the group and believe me you had better get real in your auto or they well flip and humiliate you in front of the entire house and make you do it again. After you do your auto then your case manager makes up your treatment plan and you are given assignments with time limits and you need to find the time to get it done because you still have your regular daily classes like, Relapse prevention, Thinking errors and tactics, Anger management and drug education. And in all these classes you write either 3 or 7 page papers that are due within 5 days and if you are late turning in an assignment they reward your request for 7 more pages.....LOL...as they put it. This program is no joke, it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but it was also the most rewarding thing I have ever done.
They tell you going into Carlton that if you do everything they ask you to do in 90 days of inpatient treatment that when you leave you well have the equivalent of 2 1/2 to 3 years of recovery. They say this because of the nature of the things they have you dive into. They have you work on core issues like shame and guilt, anger and grief and they show you how to pin point where you learned shame and where your anger came from. They have house positions like house manager, kitchen manager and assistant kitchen manager, recreation officer and mister C.
The house is basically run by the clients and if the house is not running like it should the staff drops the hammer. If things get to out of line they put the house on retreat and at Carlton that is not a good thing. The entire house is shut down and you do nothing but treatment 20 hours a day you are in group for 12 hours each day, no outside meetings, no phone, no passes. And you don't get off retreat until the house pulls together and starts running like it is meant to. On the weekends they have a car wash, half the clients work Saturday and half Sunday. It is set up on a donation bases and half the money is split between the clients and the other half goes into an account for the Carlton annual camp out. Plus they do things in the community like clean up the college basketball court after a game in exchange for free admittance into the game. They go to 5 outside meetings and have 2 inside meetings per week. They want you to have a sponsor and a home group before you leave treatment.
The staff at Carlton are masters at pulling things out of you that you have never told another person. Your last week in treatment they send you to the local Detox center to do risk work. You admit, care for and share your ESH with the folks in detox and I can tell you that this was an experience I well never forget. It was so hard and scary to be less then 90 days clean and have to restrain the alcoholic down to a gurney because he was in DT'S or to clean up after the heroin addict that was so sick he wanted to die. The good part of that was to see what I had to look forward to if I pick up again and I guess that was the intent.
You have really got to want to change your life to make it through a treatment center like this one. A lot of people blow out of Carlton, usually within the first week and they go right back to getting loaded and you read about them in the paper, they die, go back to prison or kill someone driving drunk. The staff at Carlton will tell you that the doors are not locked, if you don't want to be here leave, make room for someone that wants to live. They have a waiting list there and get clients from all over the country. But I guess the bottom line is, like 12 step programs, you get out of treatment what you put into it. I got a lot out of Carlton because I applied myself. I am forever grateful to that place, what I learned there has changed my life forever.
When I left treatment I had blisters on top of calluses from writing so much. I wrote over 700 pages in 90 days, I still have every paper I wrote and I look at it from time to time and it is amazing how far I have come and how much my thinking has changed. Carlton has a bell in the house that is used when someone has a major problem or a care and concern for another client, they ring the bell and the entire house heads to the group room to process what ever is going on. The bell takes priority over every thing else, it is viewed as a life and death thing and nobody leaves that room until the problem is resolved.
One thing that is unique about Carlton is once you complete that program and as long as you don't get loaded you are always welcome there. As a Carlton graduate I know that if my ass is falling off and nothing out here is working I can go into that house any time 24/7 and ring that bell and set down with 25 men and process what ever is going on. If I find myself homeless they well give me a bed and help me get into a recovery house. I go back there all the time, the staff are members of my support group and my friends today. The Carlton philosophy is, ( It’s not only Treatment , and It’s a way of life ) !
All treatment centers are not created equal. A good one well always feed into 12 step programs. I find it interesting that more often then not, the folks that seem to slam or knock treatment centers, either have never been through one, or they blew out of treatment at one point in there life without completing the program. Treatment Center save lives, without them there would be many more people dieing then there is. Carlton saved my life and I am forever grateful for what they done for me. What keeps me clean today is the God of my understanding and 12 step programs, but speaking for myself here, without Carlton's help in untwisting my life, I doubt I would be alive today. (((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))) JIM
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Recovery 365 - July 18 - Acceptance
Acceptance
Acceptance, in spirituality, mindfulness, and human psychology, usually refers to the experience of a situation without an intention to change that situation.Acceptance does not require that change is possible or even conceivable, nor does it require that the situation be desired or approved by those accepting it.
Indeed, acceptance is often suggested when a situation is both disliked and unchangeable, or when change may be possible only at great cost or risk.
Thus someone may decide to take no action against a situation and yet be said to have not accepted it.
Now, I guess that’s where the serenity prayer comes into hand
God grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change,
COURAGE to change the things I can, and the WISDOM to know the difference
When I was in my last program before I hit the streets, I fought acceptance HARD. I tried to analyze the serenity prayer by saying, how do I KNOW what things I cannot change, if I don’t TRY? Ah, but if I had looked at the last part of the prayer, I might have seen “and the wisdom to know the difference”.
I guess for ME, that wisdom was slow in learning, but the longer I was in recovery, and did the things that were suggested, the wisdom started coming. I started to make better decisions on WHAT I could change and WHAT I could not. The wisdom taught me just how far I could go and what I could do to try and change some of those things. Now, that doesn’t mean I have to accept EVERYTHING. There are some things in life that I will NEVER accept. The only difference today is, I’ve learned to deal with those things, and handle or react to them differently.
Acceptance of failure might be something that I can’t accept, unless I’ve exhausted every thing I know of to change that. Doesn’t mean I would like it, but it might be something that I would have to learn to accept. The one thing that I know I've accepted (and don’t really like), is that I’ll NEVER be able to drink or use again, if I wish to continue the life I lead now.
daily reflections for July 18-GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE
daily reflections for July 18-GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE
Grateful For What I Have
During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.75
Today my prayers consist mostly of saying thank you to my Higher Power for my sobriety and for the wonder of God's abundance, but I need to ask also for help and the power to carry out His will for me. I no longer need God each minute to rescue me from the situations I get myself into by not doing His will. Now my gratitude seems to be directly linked to humility. As long as I have the humilty to be grateful for what I have, God continues to provide for me.
Grateful For What I Have
During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound result of all was the change in our attitude toward God.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.75
Today my prayers consist mostly of saying thank you to my Higher Power for my sobriety and for the wonder of God's abundance, but I need to ask also for help and the power to carry out His will for me. I no longer need God each minute to rescue me from the situations I get myself into by not doing His will. Now my gratitude seems to be directly linked to humility. As long as I have the humilty to be grateful for what I have, God continues to provide for me.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Recovery 365 - July 17 - Victim of Circumstances
Victim of circumstances
For anyone that’s ever been in jail, I’m sure you can relate to how everyone is innocent, say the man behind bars. Being a frequent visitor to jails and institutions in my drinking days, I can attest to this saying, and have used it myself many times. There were times when I shouldn’t have gone to jail so my own mind thought, being easier to put the blame on someone else being the fault for getting caught. Yep, getting caught for something illegal, but it was safe at the time until that so and so did something wrong to get me caught and put in jail.Yea, it was my wife’s fault for yelling at me because I was drunk and then I left the house in my car only to pull into the bowling alley parking lot and get a DUI. Well, it was my son’s fault for breaking the windshield of the car and that was the reason they were suspicious of me and found out I was driving drunk. It was everyone else’s fault for me going to jail that night, and it was their fault that I went to prison for the first time, and it was their fault because it was my 4th DUI in a 5 year period, because 2 of the other DUI’s were their fault too. I should have only gone to county jail instead of prison. It was their fault darn it. Can you hear me?
Well, as I look back, there may have been times when I shouldn’t have gone to jail or suffered consequences for actions I did, but the fact remains that I am the one that chose the lifestyle that put me in those circumstances. If you get away with something and keep on doing it, sooner or later the ODDS will getcha!
Today, I chose to live a different life and what I do, right or wrong, gives me the outcome that was chosen by me and the roads I walk, and not by someone else. Can you relate?
Be responsible for your own actions!!
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Recovery 365 - July 16 - Freedom
Freedom
What does freedom mean to you?Freedom can mean being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint, Economic freedom, political freedom, and it can also mean physiological freedom. I’m sure we could find many other types of freedom, but for me, I’ll stick with these for now, as they are most important to my life as I see it.
I had my physical freedom taken from me many times during my life because of not conforming to the laws of the land. Most of my freedom was taken because of my abuse of alcohol and drugs. I’ve known people during my lifetime that never got into any problems when drinking or taking drugs socially. My problem was that as hard as I might have tried, I could NOT drink or use drugs socially. I started out that way, but my craving and addiction took over after the first one of either. I always wanted more to the extent that I ended up either not knowing what I was doing, doing stupid things and many times ending up in jail because of those actions.
Drugs and alcohol also took away my freedom of choice, freedom of emotion, and freedom of self control. I lost all freedom of self when I started on that first one.
Today in recovery, I’ve regained most of my freedoms and a few more that I never had, so that’s a plus. You can’t lose something you never had in the first place, lol.
What does freedom mean to YOU? What freedoms did your addictions take from you?
My Reflections in Recovery for the day.
Milkman Mike
Just For Today - July 16 - Self-esteem
Self-esteem
“Deep inside, I had feellngs of inadequacy and inferiority.” Basic Text, p. 112Somewhere along the way, many of us developed strong feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Deep inside was a voice that continually cried out, “You’re worthless!” Many of us learn to recognize this characteristic of low self-esteem very early in our recovery. Some of us may feel that our feelings of inferiority were where all our problems began.
Whether we learn this low self-esteem in our families or through our interactions with others, in NA we learn the tools for reclaiming ourselves. Building up our fractured self-esteem sometimes begins by simply accepting a service position. Or perhaps our phone begins to ring, and for the first time people are calling just to see how we are. They don’t want anything from us but to reach out and help.
Next we get a sponsor, someone who teaches us that we are worthwhile and believes in us until we can believe in ourselves. Our sponsor guides us through the Twelve Steps where we learn who we really are, not who we have built ourselves up or down to be.
Low self-esteem doesn’t go away overnight. Sometimes it takes years for us to really get in touch with ourselves. But with the help of other members of NA who share our same feelings, and by working the Twelve Steps, we blossom into individuals that others and, most importantly, we ourselves respect.
Just for today: I will remember that I am deserving of my Higher Power’s love. I know that I am a worthy human being. pg. 206
Saturday, July 14, 2012
twenty-four hours a day for July 14 | Milkman's Sober Living
twenty-four hours a day for July 14 | Milkman's Sober Living: A.A. Thought for the Day
One of the best things about the A.A. program is the peace of mind and serenity that it can bring us. In our drinking days, we had no peace of mind or serenity. We had the exact opposite, a kind of turmoil and that "quiet desperation' we knew so well. The turmoil of our drinking days was caused partly by our physical suffering, the terrible hangovers, the cold sweats, the shakes and the jitters. But it was caused even more by our mental suffering, the loneliness, the feeling of inferiority, the lying, the remorse that every alcoholic understands. HAVE I ACHIEVED MORE PEACE OF MIND?
Meditation for the Day
Try to look for God's leading in all your personal relationships, in all your dealings with other persons. God will help you to take care of all your relationships with people, if you are willing to let Him guide you. Rejoice that God can protect you and keep you from temptation and failure. God can protect you in all situations during the day, if you will rely on His strength and go forward. You should feel that you are entering upon the stage of success in the proper way of living. You should not doubt that better things are ahead for you. Go forward unafraid because you feel deeply safe inder God's protection.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that God may protect and keep me as long as I try to serve Him. I pray that I may go forward today unafraid.
One of the best things about the A.A. program is the peace of mind and serenity that it can bring us. In our drinking days, we had no peace of mind or serenity. We had the exact opposite, a kind of turmoil and that "quiet desperation' we knew so well. The turmoil of our drinking days was caused partly by our physical suffering, the terrible hangovers, the cold sweats, the shakes and the jitters. But it was caused even more by our mental suffering, the loneliness, the feeling of inferiority, the lying, the remorse that every alcoholic understands. HAVE I ACHIEVED MORE PEACE OF MIND?
Meditation for the Day
Try to look for God's leading in all your personal relationships, in all your dealings with other persons. God will help you to take care of all your relationships with people, if you are willing to let Him guide you. Rejoice that God can protect you and keep you from temptation and failure. God can protect you in all situations during the day, if you will rely on His strength and go forward. You should feel that you are entering upon the stage of success in the proper way of living. You should not doubt that better things are ahead for you. Go forward unafraid because you feel deeply safe inder God's protection.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that God may protect and keep me as long as I try to serve Him. I pray that I may go forward today unafraid.
daily reflections for July 14-A NOURISHING INGREDIENT | Milkman's Sober Living
daily reflections for July 14-A NOURISHING INGREDIENT | Milkman's Sober Living: A Nourishing Ingredient
Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.74
How often do I focus on my problems and frustrations? When I am having a "good day" these same problems shrink in importance and my preoccupation with them dwindles. Wouldn't it be better if I could find a key to unlock the "magic" of my "good days" for use on the woes of my "bad days."
I already have the solution! Instead of trying to run away from my pain and wish my problems away, I can pray for humility! Humility will heal the pain.Humility will take me out of myself. Humility, that strength granted to me by that "power greater than myself," is mine for the asking! Humility will bring balance back into my life. Humility will allow me to accept my humanness joyously.
Where humility had formerly stood for a forced feeding on humble pie, it now begins to mean the nourishing ingredient which can give us serenity.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.74
How often do I focus on my problems and frustrations? When I am having a "good day" these same problems shrink in importance and my preoccupation with them dwindles. Wouldn't it be better if I could find a key to unlock the "magic" of my "good days" for use on the woes of my "bad days."
I already have the solution! Instead of trying to run away from my pain and wish my problems away, I can pray for humility! Humility will heal the pain.Humility will take me out of myself. Humility, that strength granted to me by that "power greater than myself," is mine for the asking! Humility will bring balance back into my life. Humility will allow me to accept my humanness joyously.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Recovery 365 – July 14 – Confidence
Recovery 365 – July 14 – Confidence
One Day at a time
Milkman Mike
Confidence
I’m doing the best I can!! How many times have you said this? I know that I’ve said it literally hundreds, if not thousands of times, and I felt that I really meant it to be true. But in a lot of cases, I don’t really believe it WAS true. Sometimes we don’t realize our capabilities in ourselves. We don’t realize what we can accomplish if we really set our hearts and souls into it. We stop short of finishing something that we started because we don’t think we CAN finish it. Confidence in our self sometimes has to be learned, and then practiced. Now don’t get me wrong, as I do believe that we have to know our limitations, but that’s where the “Wisdom to know the difference” comes in.One Day at a time
Milkman Mike
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Recovery 365 – July 13 - Family Trust
Recovery 365 – Family Trust
Yesterday I wrote about making decisions as the Head of the Family. Today I am thinking about regaining, or even gaining trust from the family. Sure can’t expect your family to accept your decisions if they don’t trust you, now, can ya? I’ve been clean and sober for over eleven years now, and finally see the doubts disappearing in my family’s eyes and actions. For almost 7 years after my last drink, every time I opened up a can of coca cola, my wife would run into the room where I was, or sometimes just cringe, thinking of all the beer cans I opened up thru the years. I switched to Gator Ade. Today I only drink coffee and water. There are still a couple of things I do that raises eyebrows every now and then.Whenever I see those tell-tale signs of doubt and mistrust, I try to do something about it, so that it doesn’t reoccur. We’ve all heard the saying: the only thing I need to change is everything? Well, we may be clean and sober, but, we still have the same personality that makes us unique human beings. So I reckon, our personalities must change in order for those that we love, to trust us again. For me, my changes have to be in my expressions, the tone of my voice and my body language. I have to learn how to listen. What? Take the cotton out of my ears and put it in my mouth? Do you really mean that other people have something to say, besides ME?
Gaining trust from you family and friends takes time. Time and patience. We didn’t just drink or drug for a few days or weeks. Speaking for myself, I did it for a lifetime. A lifetime of spreading mistrust and a lot of agony about me. Chaos and turmoil. It’s gonna take time to get that trust back. It’s working; it’s working, as things are getting better and better each day.
One day at a time.
Milkman Mike
Just For Today - July 13 - Humility In Action | Milkman's Sober Living
Just For Today - July 13 - Humility In Action | Milkman's Sober Living: Humility In Action
"If we are hurting, and most of us do from time to time, we learn to ask for help."
Basic Text, p.80
Sometimes recovery gets downright difficult. It can be even more difficult to get humble enough to ask for help. We think, "I have all this time clean. I should be better than this!" But the reality of recovery is simple: whether we have thirty days or thirty years clean, we must be willing to ask for help when we need it.
Humility is a common theme in our Twelve Steps. The program of Narcotics Anonymous is not about keeping up appearances. Instead, the program helps us get the most from our recovery. We must be willing to lay bare our difficulties if we expect to find solutions to problems that arise in our lives.
There's an old expression sometimes heard in Narcotics Anonymous: We can't save our face and our ass at the same time. It isn't easy to share in a meeting when we have a number of years clean only to dissolve into tears because life on life's terms has made us realize our powerlessness. But when the meeting ends and another member comes up and says, "You know, I really needed to hear what you had to say," we know that there is a God working in our lives.
The taste of humility is never bitter. The rewards of humbling ourselves by asking for help sweetens our recovery.
Just for today: If I need help, I will ask for it. I will put humility into action in my life.
pg. 203
"If we are hurting, and most of us do from time to time, we learn to ask for help."
Basic Text, p.80
Sometimes recovery gets downright difficult. It can be even more difficult to get humble enough to ask for help. We think, "I have all this time clean. I should be better than this!" But the reality of recovery is simple: whether we have thirty days or thirty years clean, we must be willing to ask for help when we need it.
Humility is a common theme in our Twelve Steps. The program of Narcotics Anonymous is not about keeping up appearances. Instead, the program helps us get the most from our recovery. We must be willing to lay bare our difficulties if we expect to find solutions to problems that arise in our lives.
There's an old expression sometimes heard in Narcotics Anonymous: We can't save our face and our ass at the same time. It isn't easy to share in a meeting when we have a number of years clean only to dissolve into tears because life on life's terms has made us realize our powerlessness. But when the meeting ends and another member comes up and says, "You know, I really needed to hear what you had to say," we know that there is a God working in our lives.
The taste of humility is never bitter. The rewards of humbling ourselves by asking for help sweetens our recovery.
Just for today: If I need help, I will ask for it. I will put humility into action in my life.
pg. 203
daily reflections for July 12-GIVING UP CENTER STAGE | Milkman's Sober Living
daily reflections for July 12-GIVING UP CENTER STAGE | Milkman's Sober Living: Giving Up Center Stage
For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. ...Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.70
Why do I balk at the word "humility?" I am not humbling myself toward other people, but toward God, as I understand Him. Humility means "to show submissive respect," and by being humble I realize I am not the center of the universe. When I was drinking, I was consumed by pride and self-centeredness. I felt the entire world revolved around me, that I was master of my destiny. Humility enables me to depend more on God to help me overcome obstacles, to help me with my own imperfections, so that I may grow spiritually. I must solve more difficult problems to increase my proficiency and, as I encounter life's stumbling blocks, I must learn to overcome them through God's help. Daily communion with God demonstrates my humility and provides me with the realization that an entity more powerful than I is willing to help me if I cease trying to play God myself.
For without some degree of humility, no alcoholic can stay sober at all. ...Without it, they cannot live to much useful purpose, or, in adversity, be able to summon the faith that can meet any emergency.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.70
Why do I balk at the word "humility?" I am not humbling myself toward other people, but toward God, as I understand Him. Humility means "to show submissive respect," and by being humble I realize I am not the center of the universe. When I was drinking, I was consumed by pride and self-centeredness. I felt the entire world revolved around me, that I was master of my destiny. Humility enables me to depend more on God to help me overcome obstacles, to help me with my own imperfections, so that I may grow spiritually. I must solve more difficult problems to increase my proficiency and, as I encounter life's stumbling blocks, I must learn to overcome them through God's help. Daily communion with God demonstrates my humility and provides me with the realization that an entity more powerful than I is willing to help me if I cease trying to play God myself.
twenty-four hours a day for July 12 | Milkman's Sober Living
twenty-four hours a day for July 12 | Milkman's Sober Living: A.A. Thought for the Day
Today is ours. Let us live today as we believe God wants us to live. Each day will have a new pattern which we cannot foresee. But we can open each day with a quiet period in which we say a little prayer, asking God to help us through the day. Personal contact with God, as we understand Him, will from day to day bring us nearer to an understanding of His will for us. At the close of the day, we offer Him thanks for another day of sobriety. A full, constructive day has been lived and we are grateful. AM I ASKING GOD EACH DAY FOR STRENGTH AND THANKING HIM EACH NIGHT?
Meditation for the Day
If you believe that God's grace has saved you, then you must believe that He is meaning to save you yet more and to keep you in the way that you should go. Even human rescuers would not save you from drowning only to place you in other deep and dangerous waters. Rather, they would place you on dry land, there to restore you. God, who is your rescuer, would certainly do this and even more. God will cimplete the task He sets out to do. He will not throw you overboard, if you are depending on Him.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may trust God to keep me in the way. I pray that I may rely on Him not to let me go.
Today is ours. Let us live today as we believe God wants us to live. Each day will have a new pattern which we cannot foresee. But we can open each day with a quiet period in which we say a little prayer, asking God to help us through the day. Personal contact with God, as we understand Him, will from day to day bring us nearer to an understanding of His will for us. At the close of the day, we offer Him thanks for another day of sobriety. A full, constructive day has been lived and we are grateful. AM I ASKING GOD EACH DAY FOR STRENGTH AND THANKING HIM EACH NIGHT?
Meditation for the Day
If you believe that God's grace has saved you, then you must believe that He is meaning to save you yet more and to keep you in the way that you should go. Even human rescuers would not save you from drowning only to place you in other deep and dangerous waters. Rather, they would place you on dry land, there to restore you. God, who is your rescuer, would certainly do this and even more. God will cimplete the task He sets out to do. He will not throw you overboard, if you are depending on Him.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may trust God to keep me in the way. I pray that I may rely on Him not to let me go.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Recovery 365 - July 12 - Family Responsibility
Family Responsibility
Being the head of the family brings a lot of responsibility to a person. I’ve been the head of my family for a long time, I just didn’t realize it, or accept the responsibility that comes with it. When I drink and drug, there’s not much outside of myself that I tend to think about seriously. My mind was always on the “ME”, and what I could do for me, even to the point of using my “status” as Head of the Family, to benefit myself and my “isms”.The longer that I remain clean and sober, the more I think about that status, and what it really means. Sometimes it means making decisions that everyone is not going to be overjoyed about, and sometimes it will mean some self sacrifice. It means, using your own judgment and experience, to make decisions that will be of benefit to your family as a whole.
When we’re active in our addictions, we have a hard enough time making decisions for our self without trying to make decisions for others. But…… we still made them, didn’t we? Sometimes they were the right decisions, but, speaking for myself, too often many of them weren’t good.
I guess the ideal way to make decisions affecting others, besides you, is to talk about the situation with those involved. That’s fine, if everyone is willing, but when their not, then the decision lies in the Head of the Family, as someone has to decide which way to go, whether they like it or not.
As I progress in my own personal recovery, I find that my decisions get better, as I’m making them with a clear head, with a memory and with a thinking ability that I never knew before as an adult. Not everyone is happy about some of them, but I believe that most of them are the right decisions. If they are not, then I can make the apologies today to those that they may affect. I’ve learned humility, and have no problems saying I was wrong or that I’m sorry, and will do my best to make it right.
The “stinkin’ thinkin’” is gone for today. One day at a time.
Just For Today - July 12 - Patience
Patience
"We were trapped by our need for the instant gratification that drugs gave us."
Basic Text, pp.24-25
"I want what I want, and I want it now!" That's about as patient as most of us ever got in our active addiction. The obsession and compulsion of our disease gave us a "one-track" way of thinking; when we wanted something, that's all we thought about. And the drugs we took taught us that instant gratification was never more than a dose away. It's no wonder that most of us came to Narcotics Anonymous with next to no patience.
The problem is, we can't always get what we want whenever we want it. Some of our wishes are pure fantasy; if we think about it, we'll realize we have no reason to believe those wishes will be fulfilled in our lifetimes. We probably can't even fulfill all our realistic desires; we certainly can't fulfill them all at once. In order to acquire or achieve some things, we will have to sacrifice others.
In our addiction we sought instant gratification, squandering our resources. In recovery we must learn to prioritize, sometimes denying the gratification of some desires in order to fulfill more important long-term goals. To do so requires patience. To find that patience, we practice our program of recovery, seeking the kind of full-bodied spiritual awakening that will allow us to live and enjoy life on life's terms.
Just for today: Higher Power, help me discover what's most important in my life. Help me learn patience, so that I can devote my resources to the important things.
pg. 202
"We were trapped by our need for the instant gratification that drugs gave us."
Basic Text, pp.24-25
"I want what I want, and I want it now!" That's about as patient as most of us ever got in our active addiction. The obsession and compulsion of our disease gave us a "one-track" way of thinking; when we wanted something, that's all we thought about. And the drugs we took taught us that instant gratification was never more than a dose away. It's no wonder that most of us came to Narcotics Anonymous with next to no patience.
The problem is, we can't always get what we want whenever we want it. Some of our wishes are pure fantasy; if we think about it, we'll realize we have no reason to believe those wishes will be fulfilled in our lifetimes. We probably can't even fulfill all our realistic desires; we certainly can't fulfill them all at once. In order to acquire or achieve some things, we will have to sacrifice others.
In our addiction we sought instant gratification, squandering our resources. In recovery we must learn to prioritize, sometimes denying the gratification of some desires in order to fulfill more important long-term goals. To do so requires patience. To find that patience, we practice our program of recovery, seeking the kind of full-bodied spiritual awakening that will allow us to live and enjoy life on life's terms.
Just for today: Higher Power, help me discover what's most important in my life. Help me learn patience, so that I can devote my resources to the important things.
pg. 202
twenty-four hours a day for July 11
twenty-four hours a day for July 11
A.A. Thought for the Day
We in Alcoholics Anonymous do not try to chart the path for the human soul or try to lay out a blueprint of the working of faith, as one might plan a charity drive. We do tell the newcomer that we have renewed our faith in a Higher Power. In the telling, our faith is further renewed. We believe that faith is always close at hand, waiting for those who will listen to the heartbeat of the spirit. We believe there is a force for good in the universe and that if we link up with this force, we are carried toward a new life. AM I IN THIS STREAM OF GOODNESS?
Meditation for the Day
God will protect you from the forces of evil, if you will rely on Him. You can face all things through the power of God which strengthens you. Once God has set on you His stamp and seal of ownership, all His strength will serve and protect you. Remember that you are a child of the Father. Realize that the Father's help is always ready and available to all His children, so that they can face anything. God will do all that is necessary for your spiritual well-being, if you will let Him live His way.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may rely on God as I go through this day. I pray that I may feel deeply secure, no matter what happens to me.
A.A. Thought for the Day
We in Alcoholics Anonymous do not try to chart the path for the human soul or try to lay out a blueprint of the working of faith, as one might plan a charity drive. We do tell the newcomer that we have renewed our faith in a Higher Power. In the telling, our faith is further renewed. We believe that faith is always close at hand, waiting for those who will listen to the heartbeat of the spirit. We believe there is a force for good in the universe and that if we link up with this force, we are carried toward a new life. AM I IN THIS STREAM OF GOODNESS?
Meditation for the Day
God will protect you from the forces of evil, if you will rely on Him. You can face all things through the power of God which strengthens you. Once God has set on you His stamp and seal of ownership, all His strength will serve and protect you. Remember that you are a child of the Father. Realize that the Father's help is always ready and available to all His children, so that they can face anything. God will do all that is necessary for your spiritual well-being, if you will let Him live His way.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may rely on God as I go through this day. I pray that I may feel deeply secure, no matter what happens to me.
daily reflections for July 11-A TURNING POINT
daily reflections for July 11-A TURNING POINT
A Turning Point
A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.75
Either the A.A. way of life becomes one of joy or I return to the darkness and despair of alcoholism. Joy comes to me when my attitude concerning God and humility turns to one of desire rather than of burden. The darkness in my life changes to radiant light when I arrive at the realization that being truthful and honest in dealing with my inventory results in my life being filled with serenity, freedom, and joy. Trust in my Higher Power deepens, and the flush of gratitude spreads through my being. I am convinced that being humble is being truthful and honest in dealing with myself and God. It is then that humility is something I "really want," rather than being "something I must have."
A Turning Point
A great turning point in our lives came when we sought for humility as something we really wanted, rather than as something we must have.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.75
Either the A.A. way of life becomes one of joy or I return to the darkness and despair of alcoholism. Joy comes to me when my attitude concerning God and humility turns to one of desire rather than of burden. The darkness in my life changes to radiant light when I arrive at the realization that being truthful and honest in dealing with my inventory results in my life being filled with serenity, freedom, and joy. Trust in my Higher Power deepens, and the flush of gratitude spreads through my being. I am convinced that being humble is being truthful and honest in dealing with myself and God. It is then that humility is something I "really want," rather than being "something I must have."
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Just For Today - July 11 - Encouragement
Just For Today - July 11 - Encouragement
Encouragement
"We share comfort and encouragement with others."
Basic Text, p.95
Many of us have watched as babies take their first steps. The mother holds the child on its feet. The father kneels nearby with outstretched arms, encouraging the little one, his face flooded with devotion. The baby takes a few small steps toward its father. An older brother and sister cheer the tyke on. Baby falls down. Its mother, murmuring words of comfort, picks the child up and starts over again. This time, baby stays up until it is close enough to fall into the safety of its father's arms. As newcomers, we arrive in the rooms of NA much like this small child. Accustomed to living a life crippled by addiction, full of fear and uncertainty, we need help to stand. Just like a child beginning its march toward adulthood, we take our halting first steps toward recovery. We learn to live this new way of life because others who have gone before us encourage and comfort us by telling us what worked-and what didn't work-for them. Our sponsor is there for us when we need a push in the right direction.
Many times we feel like we can't take another step in recovery. Just like a child learning to walk, we sometimes stumble or fall. But our Higher Power always awaits us with outstretched arms And like the child's brothers and sisters shouting their encouragement, we, too, are supported by other NA members as we walk toward a full life in recovery.
Just for today: I will seek encouragement from others. I will encourage others who may need my strength.
pg. 201
Encouragement
"We share comfort and encouragement with others."
Basic Text, p.95
Many of us have watched as babies take their first steps. The mother holds the child on its feet. The father kneels nearby with outstretched arms, encouraging the little one, his face flooded with devotion. The baby takes a few small steps toward its father. An older brother and sister cheer the tyke on. Baby falls down. Its mother, murmuring words of comfort, picks the child up and starts over again. This time, baby stays up until it is close enough to fall into the safety of its father's arms. As newcomers, we arrive in the rooms of NA much like this small child. Accustomed to living a life crippled by addiction, full of fear and uncertainty, we need help to stand. Just like a child beginning its march toward adulthood, we take our halting first steps toward recovery. We learn to live this new way of life because others who have gone before us encourage and comfort us by telling us what worked-and what didn't work-for them. Our sponsor is there for us when we need a push in the right direction.
Many times we feel like we can't take another step in recovery. Just like a child learning to walk, we sometimes stumble or fall. But our Higher Power always awaits us with outstretched arms And like the child's brothers and sisters shouting their encouragement, we, too, are supported by other NA members as we walk toward a full life in recovery.
Just for today: I will seek encouragement from others. I will encourage others who may need my strength.
pg. 201
Milkman's Recovery Reflections - July 11 - Late Bloomer
Late "bloomer"
A Member shares
My story is probably odd. I didn't start drinking alcoholically till I was well into my 50s. After a lifetime of being a total non-drinker, the pressures of life, financial stress, family illness, and material losses, I embraced alcohol as a means to numb the pain. At first, it was just a drink every night, then one in the afternoon and one in the evening, then several spread through the day. Within a year I was consuming a fifth of vodka a day, and within 2 years, I was drinking till there was no more, and planning to get the next bottle.I began to lose days, days where I could not remember living. I tried to quit, I tried to modify my drinking, but to no avail. If I had liquor, I would drink till it was gone! Twenty Three days ago, I almost killed the one and only person I truly love in this world. The rage, anger, and violence which came out of me, and which has never been a part of who I am, scared and hurt me so much that I decided then and there never to drink again. I found AA, started to go to meetings, at least one a day, many days I went to two or more. Tonight, I went to two meetings, and joined a "home group". Next task is to get a sponsor, and begin the steps to recovery.
What I have learned so far, is that I have an "alcoholic" personality. I have listened to so many stories in the past 23 days, and have been amazed, that I have been living the life, and doing the same things these long-time drunks were doing. I have been an alcoholic since childhood, just without the alcohol. I have come to realize, that my character has to be changed, made sane, and healthy. Don't drink and go to meetings..... don't pick up the first drink, one day at a time.
My goal is not to drink today, and perhaps I can make it to 90 days! Too bad I waited this long to get started!
For me, I was just the opposite starting my life of addiction at 14 and not entering recovery until age 53. It's not about age that takes us into addiction and it's never too late to get out. I can't remember which member posted the above but I pray that AA worked for that person.
twenty-four hours a day for July 10 | Milkman's Sober Living
twenty-four hours a day for July 10 | Milkman's Sober Living: A.A. Thought for the Day
We in Alcoholics Anonymous do not enter into theological discussions, but in carrying our message we attempt to explain the simple "how" of the spiritual life. How faith in a Higher Power can help you to overcome loneliness, fear, and anxiety. How it can help you get along with other people. How it can make it possible for you to rise above pain, sorrow, and despondency. How it can help you to overcome your desires for the things that destroy. HAVE I REACHED A SIMPLE, EFFECTIVE FAITH?
Meditation for the Day
Expect miracles of change in people's lives. Do not be held back by unbelief. People can be changed and they are often ready and waiting to be changed. Never believe that human nature cannot be changed. We see changed people every day. Do you have the faith to make those changes possible? Modern miracles happen every day in the lives of people. All miracles are in the realm of personalities. Human nature can be changed and is always being changed. But we must have enough faith so that we can be channels for God's strength into the lives of others.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have the faith to expect miracles. I pray that I may be used by God to help change the lives of others.
We in Alcoholics Anonymous do not enter into theological discussions, but in carrying our message we attempt to explain the simple "how" of the spiritual life. How faith in a Higher Power can help you to overcome loneliness, fear, and anxiety. How it can help you get along with other people. How it can make it possible for you to rise above pain, sorrow, and despondency. How it can help you to overcome your desires for the things that destroy. HAVE I REACHED A SIMPLE, EFFECTIVE FAITH?
Meditation for the Day
Expect miracles of change in people's lives. Do not be held back by unbelief. People can be changed and they are often ready and waiting to be changed. Never believe that human nature cannot be changed. We see changed people every day. Do you have the faith to make those changes possible? Modern miracles happen every day in the lives of people. All miracles are in the realm of personalities. Human nature can be changed and is always being changed. But we must have enough faith so that we can be channels for God's strength into the lives of others.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may have the faith to expect miracles. I pray that I may be used by God to help change the lives of others.
Monday, July 9, 2012
daily reflections for July9-I AM AN INSTRUMENT | Milkman's Sober Living
daily reflections for July9-I AM AN INSTRUMENT | Milkman's Sober Living: I Am An Instrument
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.70
The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.
God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me. In the light of this awareness, how can I take pride in my accomplishments? I am an instrument and any work I seem to be doing is being done by God through me. I ask God on a daily basis to remove my shortcomings, in order that I may more freely go about my A.A. business of "love and service."
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.70
The subject of humility is a difficult one. Humility is not thinking less of myself than I ought to; it is acknowledging that I do certain things well, it is accepting a compliment graciously.
God can only do for me what He can do through me. Humility is the result of knowing that God is the doer, not me. In the light of this awareness, how can I take pride in my accomplishments? I am an instrument and any work I seem to be doing is being done by God through me. I ask God on a daily basis to remove my shortcomings, in order that I may more freely go about my A.A. business of "love and service."
twenty-four hours a day for July 9 | Milkman's Sober Living
twenty-four hours a day for July 9 | Milkman's Sober Living: A.A. Thought for the Day
Disillusionment and spiritual confusion mark our age. Many of us have cast aside old ideas without acquiring new ones. Many men and women are creeping through life on their hands and knees, merely because they refuse to rely on any power but themselves. Many of them feel that they are being brave and independent, but actually they are only courting disaster. Anxiety and the inferiority complex have become the greatest of all modern plagues. In A.A. we have the answer to these ills. HAVE I CEASED TO RELY ON MYSELF ONLY?
Meditation for the Day
Disillusionment and doubt spoil life. The doubting ones are the disillusioned ones. When you are in doubt, you are on the fence. You are not going anywhere. Doubt poisons all action. "Well, I don't know"-- so you don't do anything. You should meet life with a "Yes," an affirmative attitude. There is good in the world and we can follow that good. There is power available to help us to do the right thing; therefore we will accept that power. There are miracles of change in people's lives; therefore we will accept those miracles as evidence of God's power.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I will not be paralyzed by doubt. I pray that I may go along on the venture of faith.
Disillusionment and spiritual confusion mark our age. Many of us have cast aside old ideas without acquiring new ones. Many men and women are creeping through life on their hands and knees, merely because they refuse to rely on any power but themselves. Many of them feel that they are being brave and independent, but actually they are only courting disaster. Anxiety and the inferiority complex have become the greatest of all modern plagues. In A.A. we have the answer to these ills. HAVE I CEASED TO RELY ON MYSELF ONLY?
Meditation for the Day
Disillusionment and doubt spoil life. The doubting ones are the disillusioned ones. When you are in doubt, you are on the fence. You are not going anywhere. Doubt poisons all action. "Well, I don't know"-- so you don't do anything. You should meet life with a "Yes," an affirmative attitude. There is good in the world and we can follow that good. There is power available to help us to do the right thing; therefore we will accept that power. There are miracles of change in people's lives; therefore we will accept those miracles as evidence of God's power.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I will not be paralyzed by doubt. I pray that I may go along on the venture of faith.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Just For Today - July 9 - We Do Recover | Milkman's Sober Living
Just For Today - July 9 - We Do Recover | Milkman's Sober Living:
We Do Recover!
"....the time has come when that tired old lie, 'Once an addict, always an addict,' will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. We do recover."
Basic Text, p.86
From time to time, we hear speakers share that they don't really understand spiritual principles yet. They tell us that if we knew what went on in their minds, we'd be amazed at how insane they still are. They tell us that the longer they're clean, the less they know about anything. In the next breath, these same speakers tell us about the profound changes recovery has made in their lives. They have moved from complete despair to unfailing hope, from uncontrollable drug use to total abstinence, from chronic unmanageability to responsibility through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. Which story is true? Do we or don't we recover?
We may think we demonstrate humility or gratitude by underplaying the change that recovery has brought to our lives. True, we do injustice to the program when we take credit for this miracle ourselves. But we do an equal injustice-to ourselves and to those we share with-when we don't acknowledge this miracle's magnitude.
We do recover. If we have trouble seeing the miracle of recovery, we'd better look again. Recovery is alive and at work in Narcotics Anonymous-in our old-timers, in the newcomers flooding our meetings, and most of all in ourselves. All we have to do is open our eyes.
Just for today: I will acknowledge the miracle of my recovery and be grateful that I've found it.
pg. 199
We Do Recover!
"....the time has come when that tired old lie, 'Once an addict, always an addict,' will no longer be tolerated by either society or the addict himself. We do recover."
Basic Text, p.86
From time to time, we hear speakers share that they don't really understand spiritual principles yet. They tell us that if we knew what went on in their minds, we'd be amazed at how insane they still are. They tell us that the longer they're clean, the less they know about anything. In the next breath, these same speakers tell us about the profound changes recovery has made in their lives. They have moved from complete despair to unfailing hope, from uncontrollable drug use to total abstinence, from chronic unmanageability to responsibility through working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. Which story is true? Do we or don't we recover?
We may think we demonstrate humility or gratitude by underplaying the change that recovery has brought to our lives. True, we do injustice to the program when we take credit for this miracle ourselves. But we do an equal injustice-to ourselves and to those we share with-when we don't acknowledge this miracle's magnitude.
We do recover. If we have trouble seeing the miracle of recovery, we'd better look again. Recovery is alive and at work in Narcotics Anonymous-in our old-timers, in the newcomers flooding our meetings, and most of all in ourselves. All we have to do is open our eyes.
Just for today: I will acknowledge the miracle of my recovery and be grateful that I've found it.
pg. 199
twenty-four hours a day for July 8 | Milkman's Sober Living
twenty-four hours a day for July 8 | Milkman's Sober Living:
A.A. Thought for the Day
A.A. members will tell you that they can look back and clearly see that they were out of control long before they finally admitted it. Every one of us has gone through that stage when we wouldn't admit that we were alcoholics. It takes a lot of punishment to convince us, but one thing is certain. We all know from actual experience that when it comes to dishing out punishment, John Barleycorn has no equal. HAVE I ANY RESERVATIONS AS TO MY STATUS AS AN ALCOHOLIC?
Meditation for the Day
There is a force for good in the world and when you are cooperating with that force for good, good things happen to you. You have free-will, the choice to be on the side of right or on the side of wrong. This force for good we call God's will. God has a purpose for the world and He has a purpose for your life. He wants you to bring all your desires into oneness with His desires. He can only work through people. If you try to make God's will your will, you will be guided by Him. You will be in the stream of goodness, carried along by everything that is right. You will be on God's side.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may try to make God's will my will. I pray that I may keep in the stream of goodness in the world.
A.A. Thought for the Day
A.A. members will tell you that they can look back and clearly see that they were out of control long before they finally admitted it. Every one of us has gone through that stage when we wouldn't admit that we were alcoholics. It takes a lot of punishment to convince us, but one thing is certain. We all know from actual experience that when it comes to dishing out punishment, John Barleycorn has no equal. HAVE I ANY RESERVATIONS AS TO MY STATUS AS AN ALCOHOLIC?
Meditation for the Day
There is a force for good in the world and when you are cooperating with that force for good, good things happen to you. You have free-will, the choice to be on the side of right or on the side of wrong. This force for good we call God's will. God has a purpose for the world and He has a purpose for your life. He wants you to bring all your desires into oneness with His desires. He can only work through people. If you try to make God's will your will, you will be guided by Him. You will be in the stream of goodness, carried along by everything that is right. You will be on God's side.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may try to make God's will my will. I pray that I may keep in the stream of goodness in the world.
daily reflections for July 8-AN EVER-GROWING FREEDOM | Milkman's Sober Living
daily reflections for July 8-AN EVER-GROWING FREEDOM | Milkman's Sober Living:
An Ever-Growing Freedom
The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.76
When I finally asked God to remove those things blocking me from Him and the sunlight of the Spirit, I embarked on a journey more glorious than I ever imagined. I experienced a freedom from those characteristics that had me wrapped up in myself. Because of this humbling Step, I feel clean.
I am especially aware of this Step because I'm now able to be useful to God and to my fellows. I know that He has granted me strength to do His bidding and has prepared me for anyone, and anything, that comes my way today. I am truly in His hands, and I give thanks for the joy that I can be useful today.
An Ever-Growing Freedom
The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.76
When I finally asked God to remove those things blocking me from Him and the sunlight of the Spirit, I embarked on a journey more glorious than I ever imagined. I experienced a freedom from those characteristics that had me wrapped up in myself. Because of this humbling Step, I feel clean.
I am especially aware of this Step because I'm now able to be useful to God and to my fellows. I know that He has granted me strength to do His bidding and has prepared me for anyone, and anything, that comes my way today. I am truly in His hands, and I give thanks for the joy that I can be useful today.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Just For Today - July 8 - The "G" Word
The "G" Word
"It is important for you to know that you will hear God mentioned at NA meetings. What we are referring to is a Power greater than ourselves that makes possible what seems impossible."
IP No.22, "Welcome to NA"
Most of us come to Narcotics Anonymous with a variety of preconceptions about what the word "God" means, many of them negative. Yet the "G" word is used very regularly in NA, if not constantly. It occurs 92 times in the first 103 pages of our Basic Text, and appears prominently in a third of our Twelve Steps. Rather than sidestep the sensitivity many of us feel toward the word, let's address it head on.
It's true that Narcotics Anonymous is a spiritual program. Our Twelve Steps offer a way to find freedom from addiction through the help of a spiritual Power greater than we are. The program, however; doesn't tell us anything about what we have to think about that Power. In fact, over and over again, in our literature and our steps and our meetings, we hear it said, "the God of our understanding" - whatever that understanding may be.
We use the word "God" because it's used in our Basic Text and because it communicates most effectively to most people a basic understanding of the Power underlying our recovery. The word, we use for the sake of convenience. The Power behind the word, however, we use for more than convenience. We use that Power to maintain our freedom from addiction and to ensure our ongoing recovery.
Just for today: Whether I believe in "God" or not, I will use the Power that keeps me clean and free.
pg.198
Milkman's Recovery Reflections - July 8 - Responsibility
Responsibility
"Responsibility" is the willingness to be the "author of all your experiences", even the ones you don't like. If you create an experience in your life which you view as pleasant or worthy, you will be most willing to be responsible for it. You may even be "proud" that you did it, which is a step away from responsibility. However, when you create an experience in your life which you judge as bad or unpleasant, your mind will have the tendency to disown the authorship of the experience.
I was one of the most irreponsible persons I've ever known (almost) lol. When I was drinking and drugin' my word wasn't worth a can of beans. At the time I said something I had all the intentions of keeping my word, but as soon as I got a drink or drug in me, out the window any memory of it went.
Today, I do my best to keep that word, accept the responsibility, and do my best not to promise things I may not be able to keep. I say I will try, but sometimes that's all I can do. Life shows up and sometimes we can't keep our word, so we have to do our best to explain why, and then do our best to do it at a later time. When it involves others, we need to explain the situation to them and not avoid them. Most people will understand why a promise can't be kept if you explain. That goes for MOST creditors.... durn, not all.
I take responsibility for my actions today, good or bad, for any experiences I create, and sometimes for my family as well.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Milkman's Recovery Reflections - July 7 - Revenge
Revenge
Do two wrongs make a right? Are there things that happen in life that justify revenge?When I think of that word “revenge”, it reminds me of a lot of times in my life that I obsessed to “get even” with someone for a wrong that they did to me, sometimes just being a wrong that I THOUGHT they did to me. I didn’t want anyone getting the upper hand on me and would use any way I could think of to get the better of them.
In my younger years violence and physical revenge was common for me. If I thought I couldn’t handle the situation myself, I always had “friends” that could. In later years other ways were used, such as gossip, spreading of a rumor, words dropped about that person in front of someone that could do “harm” to someone’s reputation and even employment. Whether it was in violence or words, it was revenge in the bottom line.
Today, I think of many people that I took my revenge out on and realize that in most cases, they did that “harm” to me because of my own actions or fault. Sometimes the “revenge” resulted in my being sent to jail or some other result being worse than the original deed. I showed’em, lol. Revenge has a way of backfiring on us in most cases.
These days I do my best to keep myself out of situations where others might do “harm” to me so there is seldom any thought of revenge on anyone. Don’t get me wrong now, as I WILL stick up for myself and family, but “revenge” is not generally an option.
Just a few quick thoughts from me as I “plot” to “get even” with you, lol. Have a great day.
Milkman Mike
Just For Today - July 7 God In Each Other
God In Each Other
"One aspect of our spiritual awakening comes through the new understanding of our Higher Power that we develop by sharing another addict's recovery."
Basic Text, p.51
We've heard it said that we often see God most clearly in one another. We see the truth of this when we practice our Twelfth Step. When we carry the recovery message to another addict, we sense the presence of a Power greater than ourselves. And as we watch the message take hold, we realize something else.
It's the message that brings recovery, not the messenger. A Higher Power, not our own power, is the source of the change that begins when we carry the message to a still-suffering addict. As the message does its work, transforming the life of another addict, we see a Higher Power in action. We watch as acceptance and hope replace denial and despair. Before our very eyes, the first traces of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness begin to appear. Something's happening inside this person, something bigger and more powerful than either of us. We're watching the God we've come to understand at work in someone's life. We see the Higher Power in them. And we know with greater certainty than ever that this Higher Power is in us, too, as the force driving our recovery.
Just for today: As I carry the message of recovery to other addicts, I will try to pay attention to the Power behind the message. Today, as I watch other addicts recover, I will try to recognize the God in them so I can better recognize the God in myself.
pg.197
"One aspect of our spiritual awakening comes through the new understanding of our Higher Power that we develop by sharing another addict's recovery."
Basic Text, p.51
We've heard it said that we often see God most clearly in one another. We see the truth of this when we practice our Twelfth Step. When we carry the recovery message to another addict, we sense the presence of a Power greater than ourselves. And as we watch the message take hold, we realize something else.
It's the message that brings recovery, not the messenger. A Higher Power, not our own power, is the source of the change that begins when we carry the message to a still-suffering addict. As the message does its work, transforming the life of another addict, we see a Higher Power in action. We watch as acceptance and hope replace denial and despair. Before our very eyes, the first traces of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness begin to appear. Something's happening inside this person, something bigger and more powerful than either of us. We're watching the God we've come to understand at work in someone's life. We see the Higher Power in them. And we know with greater certainty than ever that this Higher Power is in us, too, as the force driving our recovery.
Just for today: As I carry the message of recovery to other addicts, I will try to pay attention to the Power behind the message. Today, as I watch other addicts recover, I will try to recognize the God in them so I can better recognize the God in myself.
pg.197
twenty-four hours a day for July 6 | Milkman's Sober Living
twenty-four hours a day for July 6 | Milkman's Sober Living: A.A. Thought for the Day
We tried to study our alcoholic problem, wondering what was the cause of our strange obsession. Many of us took special treatments, hospitalization, even confinement in institutions. In every case, the relief was only temporary. We tried through crazy excuses to convince ourselves that we knew why we drank, but we went on regardless. Finally drinking had gone far beyond even a habit. We had become alcoholics, men and women who had been destroying themselves against their own will. AM I COMPLETELY FREE FROM MY ALCOHOLIC OBSESSION?
Meditation for the Day
"Ask and ye shall receive." Never let yourself think that you cannot do something useful or that you never will be able to accomplish a useful task, The fact is that you can do practically anything in the field of human relationships, if you are willing to call on God's supply of strength. The supply may not be immediately available, because you may not be entirely ready to receive it. But it will surely come when you are properly prepared for it. As you grow spiritually, a feeling of being plentifully supplied by God's strength will possess you and you will be able to accomplish many useful things.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may claim God's supply of strength by my faith in Him. I pray that it shall be given to me according to my faith.
We tried to study our alcoholic problem, wondering what was the cause of our strange obsession. Many of us took special treatments, hospitalization, even confinement in institutions. In every case, the relief was only temporary. We tried through crazy excuses to convince ourselves that we knew why we drank, but we went on regardless. Finally drinking had gone far beyond even a habit. We had become alcoholics, men and women who had been destroying themselves against their own will. AM I COMPLETELY FREE FROM MY ALCOHOLIC OBSESSION?
Meditation for the Day
"Ask and ye shall receive." Never let yourself think that you cannot do something useful or that you never will be able to accomplish a useful task, The fact is that you can do practically anything in the field of human relationships, if you are willing to call on God's supply of strength. The supply may not be immediately available, because you may not be entirely ready to receive it. But it will surely come when you are properly prepared for it. As you grow spiritually, a feeling of being plentifully supplied by God's strength will possess you and you will be able to accomplish many useful things.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may claim God's supply of strength by my faith in Him. I pray that it shall be given to me according to my faith.
daily reflections for July 6-IDENTIFYING FEAR... | Milkman's Sober Living
daily reflections for July 6-IDENTIFYING FEAR... | Milkman's Sober Living: Identifying Fear...
The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear. ...
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.76
When I feel uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I look for fear. This "evil and corroding thread" is the root of my distress. Fear of failure, fear of others' opinions; fear of harm, and many other fears. I have found a Higher Power who does not want me to live in fear and, as a result, the experience of A.A. in my life is freedom and joy. I am no longer willing to live with the multitude of character defects that characterized my life while I was drinking. Step Seven is my vehicle to freedom from these defects. I pray for help in identifying the fear underneath the defect, and then I ask God to relieve me of that fear. This method works for me without fail and is one of the great miracles of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous.
The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear. ...
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.76
When I feel uncomfortable, irritated, or depressed, I look for fear. This "evil and corroding thread" is the root of my distress. Fear of failure, fear of others' opinions; fear of harm, and many other fears. I have found a Higher Power who does not want me to live in fear and, as a result, the experience of A.A. in my life is freedom and joy. I am no longer willing to live with the multitude of character defects that characterized my life while I was drinking. Step Seven is my vehicle to freedom from these defects. I pray for help in identifying the fear underneath the defect, and then I ask God to relieve me of that fear. This method works for me without fail and is one of the great miracles of my life in Alcoholics Anonymous.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Just For Today - July 6 - I'm Sorry
"I'm Sorry"
"The main thing the Eighth Step does for us is to help build awareness that, little by little, we are gaining new attitudes about ourselves and how we deal with other people."
Basic Text, p.38
To say "I'm sorry" probably isn't such a foreign idea to most of us. In our active addiction, it may have been a very familiar phrase. We were always telling people how sorry we were, and were probably deeply surprised when someone, tired of our meaningless apologies, responded with, "You sure are. In fact, you're the sorriest excuse for�" That may have been our first clue that an "I'm sorry" didn't really make any difference to those we harmed, especially when we both knew that we'd just do the same thing again.
Many of us thought that making amends would be another "I'm sorry." However, the action we take in those steps is entirely different. Making amends means to make changes and, above all, to make the situation right. If we stole money, we don't just say "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again now that I'm clean." We pay the money back. If we neglected or abused our families, we don't just apologize. We begin to treat them with respect.
Amending our behavior and the way we treat ourselves and others is the whole purpose of working the steps. We're no longer just "sorry"; we're responsible.
Just for today: I accept responsibility for myself and my recovery. Today, I will amend some particular thing I'm sorry for.
pg. 196
Twenty Four Hours A Day - July 5
A.A. Thought for the Day
Until we came into A.A. most of us had tried desperately to stop drinking. We were filled with the delusion that we could drink like our friends. We tried time and again to take it or leave it, but we could do neither. We always lapsed into ceaseless, unhappy drinking. Families, friends, and employers threw up their hands in hurt bewilderment, in despair, and finally in disgust. We wanted to stop. We realized that every reason for drinking was only a crazy excuse. HAVE I GIVEN UP EVERY EXCUSE FOR DRINKING?
Meditation for the Day
Many things can upset you and you can easily get off the track. But remember that God is near you all the time, ready to help you if you call on Him. You cannot forever stand against God's will for you, nor can you forever upset God's plan for your life, even though God's plan may be postponed by your willfulness and deliberate choice of evil. A whole world of men and women cannot permanently change God's laws nor His purpose for the universe. The sea of life may look very rough to us, but we can believe that our Captain steers the boat on a straight course.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may try to steer a straight course. I pray that I may accept God's direction in my life's journey.
Until we came into A.A. most of us had tried desperately to stop drinking. We were filled with the delusion that we could drink like our friends. We tried time and again to take it or leave it, but we could do neither. We always lapsed into ceaseless, unhappy drinking. Families, friends, and employers threw up their hands in hurt bewilderment, in despair, and finally in disgust. We wanted to stop. We realized that every reason for drinking was only a crazy excuse. HAVE I GIVEN UP EVERY EXCUSE FOR DRINKING?
Meditation for the Day
Many things can upset you and you can easily get off the track. But remember that God is near you all the time, ready to help you if you call on Him. You cannot forever stand against God's will for you, nor can you forever upset God's plan for your life, even though God's plan may be postponed by your willfulness and deliberate choice of evil. A whole world of men and women cannot permanently change God's laws nor His purpose for the universe. The sea of life may look very rough to us, but we can believe that our Captain steers the boat on a straight course.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may try to steer a straight course. I pray that I may accept God's direction in my life's journey.
Daily Reflections - July 5 - A New Direction
A New Direction
Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. ...Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all our activities.
Alcoholics Anonymous,pp.45,85
I hear talk of the "weak-willed" alcoholic, But I am one of the strongest-willed people on earth! I now know that my incredible strength of will is not enough to save my life. My problem is not one of "weakness," but rather of direction. When I, without falsely diminishing myself, accept my honest limitations and turn to God's guidance, my worst faults become my greatest assets. My strong will, rightly directed, keeps me working until the promises of the program become a daily reality.
Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. ...Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of God's will into all our activities.
Alcoholics Anonymous,pp.45,85
I hear talk of the "weak-willed" alcoholic, But I am one of the strongest-willed people on earth! I now know that my incredible strength of will is not enough to save my life. My problem is not one of "weakness," but rather of direction. When I, without falsely diminishing myself, accept my honest limitations and turn to God's guidance, my worst faults become my greatest assets. My strong will, rightly directed, keeps me working until the promises of the program become a daily reality.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Milkman's Recovery Reflections - July 5 - Gratitude
Gratitude
Grateful for a warm bed and a roof
Last night I started reflecting on where I had been, after being grateful for a warm bed to sleep in and a roof over my head and thinking about all those without one, people out on the streets, the homeless ones.
I remember when I wasn’t so lucky to have these things. In 1997 I was released from prison and had no where to go. My brother picked me up and offered to let me stay at his home in San Bruno, and a friend of the family had a job lined up for me in the Teamster Union’s office in San Francisco. This was not to be as God had other plans for me. I had always had a place to go and a job lined up, one way or another. This time was different.
I was on parole and the conditions of parole were that I was to reside in the county that I was paroled to. I did a lot of sniveling to the parole officer but to no avail. They gave me 48 hours to get back. They didn’t care that I didn’t have a place to live and told me to go to the Homeless Shelter. As I had no choice if I wanted to stay “free”, I did as they demanded.
This for me, was about as low as I could go, but when thinking about this today, I had been in much “lower” places in my life. At the shelter I had a place to sleep, shower and eat. There had been times in my life when I had none of these, sleeping in a parked car, on the beach next to a river, under an overpass on the highway and in other places unmentionable, without a dime in my pocket.
It took me 5 weeks to find a job and a place to live and hope I never find myself in that predicament again. One thing it did show me was that a lot of folks end up in the shelters from events that they have no control over and not just alcoholics and addicts.
Living a life of alcoholism and addiction takes some of us to places that most people only see on the news, a time when someone dies from the weather conditions, beaten by thugs and many other events that happen to those unfortunates. Be grateful for what you have.
Grateful for a warm bed and a roof
Last night I started reflecting on where I had been, after being grateful for a warm bed to sleep in and a roof over my head and thinking about all those without one, people out on the streets, the homeless ones.
I remember when I wasn’t so lucky to have these things. In 1997 I was released from prison and had no where to go. My brother picked me up and offered to let me stay at his home in San Bruno, and a friend of the family had a job lined up for me in the Teamster Union’s office in San Francisco. This was not to be as God had other plans for me. I had always had a place to go and a job lined up, one way or another. This time was different.
I was on parole and the conditions of parole were that I was to reside in the county that I was paroled to. I did a lot of sniveling to the parole officer but to no avail. They gave me 48 hours to get back. They didn’t care that I didn’t have a place to live and told me to go to the Homeless Shelter. As I had no choice if I wanted to stay “free”, I did as they demanded.
This for me, was about as low as I could go, but when thinking about this today, I had been in much “lower” places in my life. At the shelter I had a place to sleep, shower and eat. There had been times in my life when I had none of these, sleeping in a parked car, on the beach next to a river, under an overpass on the highway and in other places unmentionable, without a dime in my pocket.
It took me 5 weeks to find a job and a place to live and hope I never find myself in that predicament again. One thing it did show me was that a lot of folks end up in the shelters from events that they have no control over and not just alcoholics and addicts.
Living a life of alcoholism and addiction takes some of us to places that most people only see on the news, a time when someone dies from the weather conditions, beaten by thugs and many other events that happen to those unfortunates. Be grateful for what you have.
Just For Today - July 5 - Exploring Spiritual Options
Exploring Spiritual Options
"The nature of our belief will determine the manner of our prayers and meditation."
Basic Text, p.43
How do we pray? For each NA member, this is a deeply personal matter. Many of us find that, over time, we develop a manner of prayer and meditation based on what we learn from others and what we are comfortable with.
Some of us arrive in NA with a closed mind toward a Power greater than ourselves. But when we sit down with our sponsor and discuss our difficulty, looking at the Second Step in depth, we are pleased to find that we can choose any concept of a Higher Power that appeals to us.
Just as our definition of a Power greater than ourselves differs from addict to addict, so does our manner of achieving a "conscious contact" Some attend religious services; some chant; some sit quietly or talk with whatever is out there; some find a spiritual connection by communing with nature. The "right way" to pray and meditate is whatever way helps us improve our conscious contact with our own Higher Power.
Asking others how they found their spiritual guidance is always a good place to begin. Reading literature before we enter periods of meditation can also help us. Many have gone before us on this search. As we seek spiritual growth, we can greatly benefit from their experience.
Just for today: I will explore my options for improving my conscious contact with the God of my understanding.
pg. 194
Twenty Four Hours A Day - July 4
A.A. Thought for the Day
In Alcoholics Anonymous there is no thought of individual profit. No greed or gain. No membership fees, no dues. Only voluntary contributions of our money and ourselves. All that we hope for is sobriety and regeneration, so that we can live normal, respectable lives and can be recognized by others as men and women willing to do unto others as we would be done by. These things we accomplish by the help of each other, by following the twelve steps and by the grace of God. AM I WILLING TO WORK FOR A.A. WITHOUT MATERIAL GAIN TO MYSELF?
Meditation for the Day
What is sometimes called by religion as conversion is often only the discovery of God as a friend in need. What is sometimes called religion is often only the experiencing of the help and strength of God's power in our lives. What is sometimes called holiness is often only the invitation of God to be our Friend. As God becomes your friend, you become a friend to others. We experience true human friendship and from this experience we can imagine what kind of a Great Friend God can be. We believe Him to be a tireless, selfless, all conquering, miracle-working Friend. We can reach out to the Great Friend and figuratively take His hand in ours.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may think of God as a Great Friend in need. I pray that I may go along with Him.
In Alcoholics Anonymous there is no thought of individual profit. No greed or gain. No membership fees, no dues. Only voluntary contributions of our money and ourselves. All that we hope for is sobriety and regeneration, so that we can live normal, respectable lives and can be recognized by others as men and women willing to do unto others as we would be done by. These things we accomplish by the help of each other, by following the twelve steps and by the grace of God. AM I WILLING TO WORK FOR A.A. WITHOUT MATERIAL GAIN TO MYSELF?
Meditation for the Day
What is sometimes called by religion as conversion is often only the discovery of God as a friend in need. What is sometimes called religion is often only the experiencing of the help and strength of God's power in our lives. What is sometimes called holiness is often only the invitation of God to be our Friend. As God becomes your friend, you become a friend to others. We experience true human friendship and from this experience we can imagine what kind of a Great Friend God can be. We believe Him to be a tireless, selfless, all conquering, miracle-working Friend. We can reach out to the Great Friend and figuratively take His hand in ours.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may think of God as a Great Friend in need. I pray that I may go along with Him.
Daily Reflections - July 4 - A Natural Faith
A Natural Faith
... deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.55
I have seen the workings of the unseen God in A.A. rooms around the country. Miracles of recovery are everywhere in evidence. I now believe that God is in these rooms and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me, a former agnostic, as breathing, eating and sleeping. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power.
... deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
Alcoholics Anonymous,p.55
I have seen the workings of the unseen God in A.A. rooms around the country. Miracles of recovery are everywhere in evidence. I now believe that God is in these rooms and in my heart. Today faith is as natural to me, a former agnostic, as breathing, eating and sleeping. The Twelve Steps have helped to change my life in many ways, but none is more effective than the acquisition of a Higher Power.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Just For Today - July 4 - Conflict
Conflict
"We learn that conflicts are a part of reality, and we learn new ways to resolve them instead of running from them."
Basic Text, p.87
From time to time, we all experience conflicts. It may be that we just can't get along with that new co-worker. Maybe our friends are driving us crazy. Or perhaps our partner isn't living up to our expectations. Dealing with any conflict is difficult for recovering addicts.
When tempers rise, it is often a good idea to back away from the situation until cooler minds prevail. We can always return for further discussion when we have calmed down. We can't avoid troubling situations, but we can use time and distance to find perspective.
Conflict is a part of life. We can't go through our entire recovery without encountering disagreements and differences of opinion. Sometimes we can back away from these situations, taking time to reflect on them, but there always comes a time when conflict must be resolved. When that time comes, we take a deep breath, say a prayer, and apply the principles our program has given us: honesty, openness, responsibility, forgiveness, trust, and all the rest. We didn't get clean to keep running from life-and in recovery, we don't have to run anymore.
Just For Today: The principles my program has given me are sufficient to guide me through any situation. I will strive to confront conflict in a healthy way.
pg 194
"We learn that conflicts are a part of reality, and we learn new ways to resolve them instead of running from them."
Basic Text, p.87
From time to time, we all experience conflicts. It may be that we just can't get along with that new co-worker. Maybe our friends are driving us crazy. Or perhaps our partner isn't living up to our expectations. Dealing with any conflict is difficult for recovering addicts.
When tempers rise, it is often a good idea to back away from the situation until cooler minds prevail. We can always return for further discussion when we have calmed down. We can't avoid troubling situations, but we can use time and distance to find perspective.
Conflict is a part of life. We can't go through our entire recovery without encountering disagreements and differences of opinion. Sometimes we can back away from these situations, taking time to reflect on them, but there always comes a time when conflict must be resolved. When that time comes, we take a deep breath, say a prayer, and apply the principles our program has given us: honesty, openness, responsibility, forgiveness, trust, and all the rest. We didn't get clean to keep running from life-and in recovery, we don't have to run anymore.
Just For Today: The principles my program has given me are sufficient to guide me through any situation. I will strive to confront conflict in a healthy way.
pg 194
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