Milkman's Recovery Reflections - July 11 - Late Bloomer

Late "bloomer"

A Member shares

My story is probably odd. I didn't start drinking alcoholically till I was well into my 50s. After a lifetime of being a total non-drinker, the pressures of life, financial stress, family illness, and material losses, I embraced alcohol as a means to numb the pain. At first, it was just a drink every night, then one in the afternoon and one in the evening, then several spread through the day. Within a year I was consuming a fifth of vodka a day, and within 2 years, I was drinking till there was no more, and planning to get the next bottle.
I began to lose days, days where I could not remember living. I tried to quit, I tried to modify my drinking, but to no avail. If I had liquor, I would drink till it was gone! Twenty Three days ago, I almost killed the one and only person I truly love in this world. The rage, anger, and violence which came out of me, and which has never been a part of who I am, scared and hurt me so much that I decided then and there never to drink again. I found AA, started to go to meetings, at least one a day, many days I went to two or more. Tonight, I went to two meetings, and joined a "home group". Next task is to get a sponsor, and begin the steps to recovery.
What I have learned so far, is that I have an "alcoholic" personality. I have listened to so many stories in the past 23 days, and have been amazed, that I have been living the life, and doing the same things these long-time drunks were doing. I have been an alcoholic since childhood, just without the alcohol. I have come to realize, that my character has to be changed, made sane, and healthy. Don't drink and go to meetings..... don't pick up the first drink, one day at a time.
My goal is not to drink today, and perhaps I can make it to 90 days! Too bad I waited this long to get started! 
For me, I was just the opposite starting my life of addiction at 14 and not entering recovery until age 53. It's not about age that takes us into addiction and it's never too late to get out. I can't remember which member posted the above but I pray that AA worked for that person.