Step Three:
Below are paragraphs from my written 3rd step from about 9 years ago. I have changed a few words to fit in for the present. The first three steps were very hard for me to "work", but today I feel the impact of following thru with them. I will have 12 years clean and sober on October 30 of this year. If I can do it......... SO CAN YOU!!!
Written: Saturday, October 04, 2003 11:51:32 AM
It’s hard to admit when I’m wrong, and not control situations or try to do so. I realize that I must work on this as it is, and has been one of my character defects. I just don’t like to be wrong. I believe that I need to turn areas of my life to a higher power so that I don’t keep making the same mistakes and ending up with the same results of the past.
By living my life on my own will, it resulted in many jail and prison "vacations", lost jobs, family and friends. It kept me stagnant causing me to “start over” in life many, many times. It kept me from attaining security for family and myself. It helped to cause me to pass on my life style and addiction to my sons.
In the past, before the start of my recovery, I tried to use my own will to stay clean. I tried going to AA, but I don’t think that I was ready to be clean and sober. My heart wasn’t in it. I could stay clean for a few days, but would start with “one” and then go from there right back to full blown addiction.
I tried to stop on numerous occasions to stay clean and sober, but my will alone wasn’t strong enough.
I tried to stop on numerous occasions to stay clean and sober, but my will alone wasn’t strong enough.
My self-will made me cheat my family out of love and material things. I stole from employers for my addiction and self gain. My self will affected just about everyone I came in contact with.
I believe that God has power and control over my life. I also feel that the 12 step programs are part of my higher power. I know that if I pray, or if I believe in the program, that things usually turn out much better. When things are not, then they help me to accept them and try to do something positive about them.
By turning my will over to the care of God, I am asking for his will and guidance to do the things that will keep me clean and sober, and to live a good life. I have already admitted and came to believe, and now I have turned my will and life over to him.
“We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.”
The central action in Step Three is a decision. The idea of making that decision may terrify us, especially when we look at what we’re deciding to do in this step. Making a decision, any decision, is something most of us haven’t done in a long time. We’ve had our decisions made for us; by our addiction, by the authorities, or just by default because we didn’t want the responsibility of deciding anything for ourselves. When we add to this the concept of entrusting the care of our will and our lives to something that most of us don’t understand at this point, we may just think this whole thing is beyond us and start looking for a shortcut or an easier way to work our programs. These thoughts are dangerous, for when we take shortcuts in our program, we short-circuit our recovery. (from the NA Step 3 Workbook Guide)
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