July 12 - Isolating

Isolating
"The less people tolerated us,
the more we withdrew from society,
from life itself.
As we became subjects of King Alcohol,
shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down.
It thickened, ever becoming blacker.
Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 151

Thought to Consider . . .
Losers make promises;
winners make commitments.
(Members share)
"Being the natural gregarious person that I am.... the end of my drinking days ... ugh... thank goodness I don't remember much of that... so see blackouts are good for something : o, but I do know I was just sitting at home drinking...drinking...and oh yeah drinking. No way to live at all.


And yes, when I first "hit the streets"... I was kind of overwhelmed at all the people. As friendly and outgoing as I am.. I have this weird thing... I don't really like big crowds...don't ask me what that is... I just get like claustrophobic... anyway... I was so relieved that my homegroup is one of those that do have "activities" outside of the meetings. Cookouts, campouts and things like that.


Us "wimmen" try to get together at least three times a year for girl weekends... go to the lake and just hang out or recently I had them all over to my house for the night.


So do I ever want to be alone? Shoot yes. Remember that post about what is your roof? My home is my roof... I can be safe there and I don't have to have someone with me 24/7 and that is a great feeling. It is not isolating, it is just being with myself for a change.


Not to say that I couldn't..and haven't... because I have...especially if I have copped a resentment... which I do now and then. Fortunately for me, "my people" recognize this and jump on me...lol"
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"The social lubricants spirited me into being the life of the party, I thought, and the being the best of the best. Without the lubricant I was dull, boring and glum, and unpopular. The transistion since being sober has come quickly in some ways and slowly in others. I believe I understand that one does not have to "Go Out" to Get It. I have come to believe that I am what I am as Popeye once said, and I am accepted for who and what I am, with respect to the fact I am making changes, hopefully for the better. If I want Esteem, I need to do Esteemable things. I now have a home to try and make happy, and it's important to try and be happy here, not to go out to find it or make it be. Yet I do not need to be with me, me, and only me. It should be shared happiness, and I should be doing my part to share it. This too, works if one works at it, to make it work. Living sober is a Living, Loving, Learning, Growing Experience. I do better not to try and force, but to let go, and let God, and understand that much of it happens in God's time, not my time, and I don't control the time."
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