Just for Today - January 1
January 1Vigilance
"We keep what we have only with vigilance..."
Basic Text, p. 57
How do we remain vigilant about our recovery? First, by realizing that we have a disease we will always have. No matter how long we've been clean, no matter how much better our lives have become, no matter what the extent of our spiritual healing, we are still addicts. Our disease waits patiently, ready to spring the trap if we give it the opportunity.
Vigilance is a daily accomplishment. We strive to be constantly alert and ready to deal with signs of trouble. Not that we should live in irrational fear that something horrible will possess us if we drop our guard for an instant; we just take normal precautions. Daily prayer, regular meeting attendance, and choosing not to compromise spiritual principles for the easier way are acts of vigilance. We take inventory as necessary, share with others whenever we are asked, and carefully nurture our recovery. Above all, we stay aware.
We have a daily reprieve from our addiction as long as we remain vigilant. Each day, we carry the principles of recovery into all we do, and each night, we thank our Higher Power for another day clean.
Just for today: I will be vigilant, doing everything necessary to guard my recovery.
pg. 1
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Dec 31 - A Reason
Milkman's Reflections - Dec 31 - A Reason
A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, ora lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, youwill know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It isusually to meet a need you have expressed. They havecome to assist you through a difficulty, to provide youwith guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like agodsend, and they are! They are there for the reasonyou need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at aninconvenient time, this person will say or do somethingto bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, ourdesire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer yousent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amountof joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; thingsyou must build upon in order to have a solid emotionalfoundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love theperson, and put what you have learned to use in allother relationships and areas of your life. It is saidthat love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Author Unknown
A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, ora lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, youwill know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It isusually to meet a need you have expressed. They havecome to assist you through a difficulty, to provide youwith guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like agodsend, and they are! They are there for the reasonyou need them to be.
Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at aninconvenient time, this person will say or do somethingto bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die.Sometimes they walk away.Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, ourdesire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer yousent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.They may teach you something you have never done.They usually give you an unbelievable amountof joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; thingsyou must build upon in order to have a solid emotionalfoundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love theperson, and put what you have learned to use in allother relationships and areas of your life. It is saidthat love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Author Unknown
daily reflections- December 31-DAILY RESOLUTIONS
daily reflections- December 31-DAILY RESOLUTIONS
daily reflections- December 31-DAILY RESOLUTIONS
Daily Resolutions
The idea of "twenty-four-hour living" applies primarily to the emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday, nor in tomorrow. As Bill Sees It,p.284
A New Year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 mintues-- a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twenty-four-hour frame, for if I do, I don't have to make New Years resolutions! I can make every day a New Years day! I can decide, "Today I will do this... Today I will do that." Each day I can measure my life by trying to do a little better by deciding to follow God's will and by making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action.
daily reflections- December 31-DAILY RESOLUTIONS
Daily Resolutions
The idea of "twenty-four-hour living" applies primarily to the emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live in yesterday, nor in tomorrow. As Bill Sees It,p.284
A New Year: 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 mintues-- a time to consider directions, goals, and actions. I must make some plans to live a normal life, but also I must live emotionally within a twenty-four-hour frame, for if I do, I don't have to make New Years resolutions! I can make every day a New Years day! I can decide, "Today I will do this... Today I will do that." Each day I can measure my life by trying to do a little better by deciding to follow God's will and by making an effort to put the principles of our A.A. program into action.
Just for Today - December 31
Just for Today - December 31
December 31Being Of Service
"Working with others is only the beginning of service work."
Basic Text, pg 56
We're in recovery now. Through living the program, we've attained some stability in our lives. Our faith in a Higher Power has grown. Our individual spiritual awakening is progressing comfortably. So now what? Do we simply sit still and enjoy? Of course not. We find a way to be of service.
We tend to think of service only in terms of committee service or holding a position at some level, but service goes far beyond this understanding. In fact, we can find opportunities to be of service in nearly every area of our lives. Our jobs are a form of service to our communities, no matter what our occupation. The work we do in our homes serves our families. Perhaps we do volunteer work in our communities.
What a difference our service efforts make! If we doubt this, we can just imagine what the world would be like if no one bothered to be of service to others. Our work serves humanity. The message we carry goes beyond the rooms of recovery, affecting everything we do.
Just for today: I will look for opportunities to be of service in everything I do.
pg. 381
December 31Being Of Service
"Working with others is only the beginning of service work."
Basic Text, pg 56
We're in recovery now. Through living the program, we've attained some stability in our lives. Our faith in a Higher Power has grown. Our individual spiritual awakening is progressing comfortably. So now what? Do we simply sit still and enjoy? Of course not. We find a way to be of service.
We tend to think of service only in terms of committee service or holding a position at some level, but service goes far beyond this understanding. In fact, we can find opportunities to be of service in nearly every area of our lives. Our jobs are a form of service to our communities, no matter what our occupation. The work we do in our homes serves our families. Perhaps we do volunteer work in our communities.
What a difference our service efforts make! If we doubt this, we can just imagine what the world would be like if no one bothered to be of service to others. Our work serves humanity. The message we carry goes beyond the rooms of recovery, affecting everything we do.
Just for today: I will look for opportunities to be of service in everything I do.
pg. 381
Friday, December 30, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Dec 30 - The Complainer
Milkman's Reflections - Dec 30 - The Complainer
The Complainer
The first three times you came with the same story (they) would listen and try to help. But if you showed up a fourth time and it was the same old tired things, the others in the circle would just get up and move....it was time you did something about it. Anne Cameron
Many of us go to meeting after meeting, talking about the same problem. What are we looking for, what are we asking for? We aren't asking for help, because we are usually given good suggestions that we reject. We aren't looking to make changes, because we keep holding on to the same problem. We may also have been in the opposite position- listening to one who keeps talking about the same problem. After hearing those people for a while, it's easy to want to tune them out. But we can change. We can ask whether we use meetings to air the same grievances. If so, we need to stop complaining and do something. If we hear another doing the same thing,we can learn from the person's unwillingness to change. We can learn the difference between stagnation and growth. I can listen and learn. If I ask for help, let me also be willing to accept it. From Night Light
The Complainer
The first three times you came with the same story (they) would listen and try to help. But if you showed up a fourth time and it was the same old tired things, the others in the circle would just get up and move....it was time you did something about it. Anne Cameron
Many of us go to meeting after meeting, talking about the same problem. What are we looking for, what are we asking for? We aren't asking for help, because we are usually given good suggestions that we reject. We aren't looking to make changes, because we keep holding on to the same problem. We may also have been in the opposite position- listening to one who keeps talking about the same problem. After hearing those people for a while, it's easy to want to tune them out. But we can change. We can ask whether we use meetings to air the same grievances. If so, we need to stop complaining and do something. If we hear another doing the same thing,we can learn from the person's unwillingness to change. We can learn the difference between stagnation and growth. I can listen and learn. If I ask for help, let me also be willing to accept it. From Night Light
daily reflections- December 30-ANONYMITY
daily reflections- December 30-ANONYMITY
Anonymity
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.562
Tradition Twelve became important early in my sobriety and, along with the Twelve Steps, it continues to be a must in my recovery. I became aware after I joined the Fellowship that I had personality problems, so that when I first heard it, the Tradition's message was very clear: there exists an immediate way for me to face, with others, my alcoholism and attendant anger, defensiveness, offensiveness. I saw Tradition Twelve as being a great ego deflator; it relieved my anger and gave me a chance to utilize the principles of the program. All of the Steps, and this particular Tradition, have guided me over decades of continuous sobriety. I am grateful to those who were here when I needed them.
Anonymity
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. Alcoholics Anonymous,p.562
Tradition Twelve became important early in my sobriety and, along with the Twelve Steps, it continues to be a must in my recovery. I became aware after I joined the Fellowship that I had personality problems, so that when I first heard it, the Tradition's message was very clear: there exists an immediate way for me to face, with others, my alcoholism and attendant anger, defensiveness, offensiveness. I saw Tradition Twelve as being a great ego deflator; it relieved my anger and gave me a chance to utilize the principles of the program. All of the Steps, and this particular Tradition, have guided me over decades of continuous sobriety. I am grateful to those who were here when I needed them.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Just for Today - December 29
Just for Today - December 29
Through Others' Eyes
"When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive....[But] if we truly want to be free, we will take a good look at input from fellow addicts."
Basic Text pg. 35
At some point in our recovery, we come to the awkward realization that the way we see ourselves is not necessarily the way others do. We are probably neither as bad, as good, as beautiful, or as ugly as we think we are - but we are too close to ourselves to really tell for sure. That's where our friends in the program come in, caring enough to share with us what they see when they look in our direction. They tell us the good things about ourselves we might not know - and they tell us the hard things, too, that we might not be able to see.
We may react defensively to such "help" and, in some cases, justly so. However, even malicious remarks about our supposed shortcomings can shed light on aspects of our recovery that we cannot see ourselves. Wherever a useful insight comes from, for whatever reason it is offered, we cannot afford to discount it.
We don't need to wait for others to spontaneously offer their insight. When we spend time with our sponsor or other NA members we trust, we can make the first move and ask them to tell us what they see about particular areas of our lives to which we are blind. We want a broader vision of our life than just our own; we can have that vision by seeing ourselves through the eyes of others.
Just for today: I seek to see myself as I truly am. I will listen to what others say about me, and see myself through their eyes.
pg. 379
Through Others' Eyes
"When someone points out a shortcoming, our first reaction may be defensive....[But] if we truly want to be free, we will take a good look at input from fellow addicts."
Basic Text pg. 35
At some point in our recovery, we come to the awkward realization that the way we see ourselves is not necessarily the way others do. We are probably neither as bad, as good, as beautiful, or as ugly as we think we are - but we are too close to ourselves to really tell for sure. That's where our friends in the program come in, caring enough to share with us what they see when they look in our direction. They tell us the good things about ourselves we might not know - and they tell us the hard things, too, that we might not be able to see.
We may react defensively to such "help" and, in some cases, justly so. However, even malicious remarks about our supposed shortcomings can shed light on aspects of our recovery that we cannot see ourselves. Wherever a useful insight comes from, for whatever reason it is offered, we cannot afford to discount it.
We don't need to wait for others to spontaneously offer their insight. When we spend time with our sponsor or other NA members we trust, we can make the first move and ask them to tell us what they see about particular areas of our lives to which we are blind. We want a broader vision of our life than just our own; we can have that vision by seeing ourselves through the eyes of others.
Just for today: I seek to see myself as I truly am. I will listen to what others say about me, and see myself through their eyes.
pg. 379
daily reflections- December 29-THE JOY OF LIVING
daily reflections- December 29-THE JOY OF LIVING
The Joy Of Living
... therefore the joy of good living is the theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.125
A.A. is a joyful program! Even so, I occasionally balk at taking the necessary steps to move ahead, and find myself resisting the very actions that could bring about the joy I want. I would not resist if those actions did not touch some vulnerable area of my life, an area that needs hope and fulfillment. Repeated exposure to joyfulness has a way of softening the hard, outer edges of my ego. Therein lies the power of joyfulness to help all members of A.A.
The Joy Of Living
... therefore the joy of good living is the theme of A.A.'s Twelfth Step. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,p.125
A.A. is a joyful program! Even so, I occasionally balk at taking the necessary steps to move ahead, and find myself resisting the very actions that could bring about the joy I want. I would not resist if those actions did not touch some vulnerable area of my life, an area that needs hope and fulfillment. Repeated exposure to joyfulness has a way of softening the hard, outer edges of my ego. Therein lies the power of joyfulness to help all members of A.A.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 26, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Oct. 20 - Service
Service
My end of the day thoughts
Does making coffee, greeting people at the door, chairing meeting and the other things people of 12 step programs do, Keep them clean/sober? I think not!!
BUT........ with service comes commitment, and with commitment comes sobriety. At least for this alkie/addict, it does. Show up and boot up, how many times you heard THIS? Yea, right! Show up and boot up, when it suits YOU!! There's not much commitment there, now IS there?
BUT........ If you make a commitment to make the coffee every Tuesday night at 8:00pm, you (at least, most people will) will show up that night clean/sober to do your service (commitment) for the group. NOW, maybe that might be the ONLY night you stay sober, but it's a start, isn't it?
Now, doing that "service" every week for whatever amount of time you COMITT to, is just liable to rub off on ya, isn't it?
Now, moving on just a bit, if YOU don't make the coffee, help set up the room, chair and all the other service jobs available and NEEDED, then WHO WILL? Who will keep the doors open for the Alcoholic that still suffers, the alcoholic/addict that NEEDS to fellowship and share ESH, in order to stay sober/clean another 24? Should we all stop at the nearest Starbucks for a cup of coffee, maybe a 1.50 or 2.00 that many can't afford in early sobriety? Or should we wait till someone invites us over to their house for a meeting?
Now, for this alcohlic/addict, I'm just a simple man. I don't do a lot of reading in the Big Book, Basic Text, or read articles on the programs higher structure, but I have enough knowledge for what I need, to have this program, assist me in staying clean and sober for today. I leave the politics, YES politics of the programs to those that wish to seek out MORE, maybe MORE than what most of us need to know.
To those that read and investigate the "inards" of the program, my hat is off to you for your commitment to know more, and the exploration and research it must take to obtain it. Your posts on these boards HELP me, help me to understand, or at least see other sides that I might not be aware of, of the programs.
Now, as dumb as I might be about the complexity of the programs above the local meetings, I DO know that the meetings, and the way MOST of them are handled, contribute to sobriety to many of us. Like any orgainzation that grows, so grows the people that want to profit from it in their own ways. Whether it be in ego, monetary or other, people will use people for their own personal gain. When there is "evil" in the program, most of us are aware of it. BUT, do we want to publicize and demean this program, becasue of a few bad "apples"?
Do we need to show the members (newcomers included) that we know more about "OUR" side that the other man knows about "HIS" side? Do we need to put someone else DOWN, in relating our views and opinions, maybe based on fact, maybe not, only the writer know, huh?
It's kind of funny, that the people that use their words, at the expense of others, are generally people that are excellent writers. People that can use the pen (or keyboard, in this case) like a saber, cutting into others with the sharpness of that blade. It can be interesting and amusing at times, but for me, I see no need for it. Implying a statement or quote, tells MOST of us, whom you're taking a shot at, we're not all stupid (ARE WE?).
Well gang, it's getting late, and I'm just a rambling on with my thoughts from the day, a day of watching the boards, working at my job, and all in all, just having another GOOD DAY. Even with the BS that's happened around me today, it's been A GREAT DAY. I'm going to bed, SOBER and CLEAN, with no alcohol or drugs in my body, and tomorrow morning I'll wake up to a new day, and with the grace of GOD, tomorrow night, I'll get to do the same.
My end of the day thoughts
Does making coffee, greeting people at the door, chairing meeting and the other things people of 12 step programs do, Keep them clean/sober? I think not!!
BUT........ with service comes commitment, and with commitment comes sobriety. At least for this alkie/addict, it does. Show up and boot up, how many times you heard THIS? Yea, right! Show up and boot up, when it suits YOU!! There's not much commitment there, now IS there?
BUT........ If you make a commitment to make the coffee every Tuesday night at 8:00pm, you (at least, most people will) will show up that night clean/sober to do your service (commitment) for the group. NOW, maybe that might be the ONLY night you stay sober, but it's a start, isn't it?
Now, doing that "service" every week for whatever amount of time you COMITT to, is just liable to rub off on ya, isn't it?
Now, moving on just a bit, if YOU don't make the coffee, help set up the room, chair and all the other service jobs available and NEEDED, then WHO WILL? Who will keep the doors open for the Alcoholic that still suffers, the alcoholic/addict that NEEDS to fellowship and share ESH, in order to stay sober/clean another 24? Should we all stop at the nearest Starbucks for a cup of coffee, maybe a 1.50 or 2.00 that many can't afford in early sobriety? Or should we wait till someone invites us over to their house for a meeting?
Now, for this alcohlic/addict, I'm just a simple man. I don't do a lot of reading in the Big Book, Basic Text, or read articles on the programs higher structure, but I have enough knowledge for what I need, to have this program, assist me in staying clean and sober for today. I leave the politics, YES politics of the programs to those that wish to seek out MORE, maybe MORE than what most of us need to know.
To those that read and investigate the "inards" of the program, my hat is off to you for your commitment to know more, and the exploration and research it must take to obtain it. Your posts on these boards HELP me, help me to understand, or at least see other sides that I might not be aware of, of the programs.
Now, as dumb as I might be about the complexity of the programs above the local meetings, I DO know that the meetings, and the way MOST of them are handled, contribute to sobriety to many of us. Like any orgainzation that grows, so grows the people that want to profit from it in their own ways. Whether it be in ego, monetary or other, people will use people for their own personal gain. When there is "evil" in the program, most of us are aware of it. BUT, do we want to publicize and demean this program, becasue of a few bad "apples"?
Do we need to show the members (newcomers included) that we know more about "OUR" side that the other man knows about "HIS" side? Do we need to put someone else DOWN, in relating our views and opinions, maybe based on fact, maybe not, only the writer know, huh?
It's kind of funny, that the people that use their words, at the expense of others, are generally people that are excellent writers. People that can use the pen (or keyboard, in this case) like a saber, cutting into others with the sharpness of that blade. It can be interesting and amusing at times, but for me, I see no need for it. Implying a statement or quote, tells MOST of us, whom you're taking a shot at, we're not all stupid (ARE WE?).
Well gang, it's getting late, and I'm just a rambling on with my thoughts from the day, a day of watching the boards, working at my job, and all in all, just having another GOOD DAY. Even with the BS that's happened around me today, it's been A GREAT DAY. I'm going to bed, SOBER and CLEAN, with no alcohol or drugs in my body, and tomorrow morning I'll wake up to a new day, and with the grace of GOD, tomorrow night, I'll get to do the same.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Oct. 19 - HOPE
The hope we get from working Step Two replaces the desperation with which we came into the program. Every time we had followed what we’d thought would get a path out of our addiction-medicine, religion, or psychiatry, for instance-we found they only took us so far; none of these was sufficient for us. As we ran out of options and exhausted our resources, we wondered if we’d ever find a solution to our dilemma. If there was anything in the world that worked. In fact, we may have been slightly suspicious when we first came to Narcotics Anonymous, wondering if this was just another method that wouldn’t work, or that wouldn’t work well enough for us to make a difference.
However, something remarkable occurred to us as we sat in our first few meetings. There were other addicts there who had used drugs just as we had, addicts who were now clean. We believed in them. We knew we could trust them. They knew the places we’d been to in our addiction-not just the using hangouts, not just the geographic location, but the hangouts of horror and despair our spirits had visited each time we’d used. The recovering addicts we met in NA knew those places as well as we did because they had been there themselves.
It was when we realized that these other members-addicts like ourselves-were staying clean and finding freedom that most of us first experienced the feeling of hope. We may have been standing with a group of members after a meeting. We may have been listening to someone share a story just like our own. Most of us can recall that moment, even years later-and that moment comes to all of us.
Our hope is renewed throughout our recovery. Each time something new is revealed to us about our disease, the pain of that realization is accompanied by a surge of hope. No matter how painful the process of demolishing our denial may be, something else is being restored in its place within us. Even if we don’t feel like we believe in anything, we do believe in the program. We believe that we can be restored to sanity, even in the most hopeless times, even in our sickest areas.
However, something remarkable occurred to us as we sat in our first few meetings. There were other addicts there who had used drugs just as we had, addicts who were now clean. We believed in them. We knew we could trust them. They knew the places we’d been to in our addiction-not just the using hangouts, not just the geographic location, but the hangouts of horror and despair our spirits had visited each time we’d used. The recovering addicts we met in NA knew those places as well as we did because they had been there themselves.
It was when we realized that these other members-addicts like ourselves-were staying clean and finding freedom that most of us first experienced the feeling of hope. We may have been standing with a group of members after a meeting. We may have been listening to someone share a story just like our own. Most of us can recall that moment, even years later-and that moment comes to all of us.
Our hope is renewed throughout our recovery. Each time something new is revealed to us about our disease, the pain of that realization is accompanied by a surge of hope. No matter how painful the process of demolishing our denial may be, something else is being restored in its place within us. Even if we don’t feel like we believe in anything, we do believe in the program. We believe that we can be restored to sanity, even in the most hopeless times, even in our sickest areas.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Aug 14 - What would you do.........
What would you do differently? Something to ponder on today
I have often wondered just what I would or could change in my past, IF, ever given the opportunity, lol. I think that if, like, the old saying goes: "If I only knew then........ what I know NOW". Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, what ever we did in the past, we cannot change. Maybe for some strange reason, that's a good thing. Let's just try and learn from the mistakes that we may have made in the past, and live our dreams today.
BUT, IF................. dream on.
Mike
Friday, August 12, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Aug 13 - How Many meetings........
How Many meetings do we need?
Ever since getting into recovery, I always hear that meeting goers make it. I believe that, and I DO attend meetings.
Ever since getting into recovery, I always hear that meeting goers make it. I believe that, and I DO attend meetings.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Aug 12 - I miss the old me..
Anyone ever get this feeling?
"I miss the old me
I've been sober for about 8 months now. It's friday night and everybodys going out partying. Sitting here alone I started to think of how much I miss the feeling of getting ready to go out. I know I won't do it, but I feel like I miss it. I know that for me to drink, is like taking poison. Because I know its going to lead me back to the horrible path I use to travel.
"I miss the old me
I've been sober for about 8 months now. It's friday night and everybodys going out partying. Sitting here alone I started to think of how much I miss the feeling of getting ready to go out. I know I won't do it, but I feel like I miss it. I know that for me to drink, is like taking poison. Because I know its going to lead me back to the horrible path I use to travel.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Aug 11 - The Complainer
It sure is easy to complain about things, especially other people. It's easy to see faults in others but they say what you see you don't like in others reflects back on how YOU are. Think twice before you complain. The following is from writings from others on the web but they sure tell it like it is. Enjoy!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Aug 10 - What do we care
What do we care
Going back in my archives I came across this post from another member and it also rings true for me as so many of them did and do. Enjoy!
Going back in my archives I came across this post from another member and it also rings true for me as so many of them did and do. Enjoy!
Milkman Mike: Dry Drunk
Milkman Mike: Dry Drunk: "Dry Drunk I've heard a few people ask what the term 'Dry Drunk' means The following article seems to explain it very well. After reading i..."
Monday, August 8, 2011
Milkman's Reflections - Aug 9 - Substitutes
This was a post from one of our members from 2007 but it hits home, as what this man says was true for me also. My subsitute from my addictions was learning computers and designing and maintaining recovery sites for the last 7 years and plan on continuing as long as I can.
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Substitutes: ...............
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Substitutes: ...............
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Milkman's Reflections -Aug 8- Feelings
Feelings
Lately I have had some mixed feelings about some of the things going on in my life so I went to an article written by Zentai, part of a collection given to me for publication about recovery topics, and after reading one of the articles I came up with this summary. Hope it helps someone else as it helped me.
Lately I have had some mixed feelings about some of the things going on in my life so I went to an article written by Zentai, part of a collection given to me for publication about recovery topics, and after reading one of the articles I came up with this summary. Hope it helps someone else as it helped me.
Financial Stress in Recovery
Financial Stress in Recovery
How do you deal with financial stress, after you get clean and sober? Man, this was a major concern for me to deal with after being released from my program 9 years ago. My past was a financial disaster!!! I owed the government, (State and Federal) close to $40,000.00, no credit, no car, couldn't get a bank account because of all the bad checks I wrote in the past, and basically, didn't have a pot to piss in.Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
July 31 - Triggers
Triggers are things we see, hear and people we come into contact with, in other words: people, places and things. Triggers initiate cravings to drink and/or use. It could be driving or walking past a favorite bar or friends house, arguing with our spouse/partner, getting mad at a boss at work or just plain old rejection of just about any kind.
July 30 - Weight gain in sobriety
My weight stayed between 175 and 185 almost my entire life till I hit 55 years of age. This was about a year and a half into recovery. I wasn't always in the best of shape physically, as towards the end of my active career in addiction, I was in pretty sad shape. But the weight still stayed about the same. I did drop to 165 while in the program in prison, but gained back to 185 about 6 months after hitting the streets.
July 29 - When are we "hordes"?
The following was a post I shared a couple of years ago. The moral: Nothing changes if nothing changes. At the end of that post is one from today.
(About 2 years ago) I was cleaning up in the garage and the backyard this morning and came across a whole lot of stuff the wife had bagged up to throw out. My first instict was to open the bags and go thru them to see if she is throwing away anything useful, lol. That's what I generally do, and the results are, in the long run, they generally get thrown out anyways.
(About 2 years ago) I was cleaning up in the garage and the backyard this morning and came across a whole lot of stuff the wife had bagged up to throw out. My first instict was to open the bags and go thru them to see if she is throwing away anything useful, lol. That's what I generally do, and the results are, in the long run, they generally get thrown out anyways.
July 28 - Freedom
What does freedom mean to you?
Freedom can mean being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint, Economic freedom, political freedom, and it can also mean physiological freedom. I’m sure we could find many other types of freedom, but for me, I’ll stick with these for now, as they are most important to my life as I see it.
Freedom can mean being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint, Economic freedom, political freedom, and it can also mean physiological freedom. I’m sure we could find many other types of freedom, but for me, I’ll stick with these for now, as they are most important to my life as I see it.
July 27 - Sleep in sobriety
I don’t know about anyone else, but when I got clean and sober I had one heck of a time falling asleep. I got sober while I was in jail and prison. It took about 13 or 14 months before I finally got more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep at a time. I’m sure the stress of being locked up had a lot to do with it, but I’m told that it can take many months before all the alcohol and drugs leave our system.
July 26 - Court Ordered Meetings
Many of us in the 12 Step Rooms were ordered by the Courts to attend meetings because of "mishaps" we got ourselves into with the law generally caused by our addiction. For a lot of us, it gave us an insight to what we probably were, powerless over our addictions. For some of us it gave us hope and sobriety. Prayers to those still out there that it didn't work for. There IS still hope for them and they know where to go when they are ready.
Here's a short story by one of my former members in regards to court ordered meetings. For those still out there........ This could be YOU.
Here's a short story by one of my former members in regards to court ordered meetings. For those still out there........ This could be YOU.
July 25 - Take what you need and leave the rest
As with most things in life, there is usually more than one way to look at something, this expression being one of them. I’ve heard this expression many times, generally said to those that complain about something in the program (12 steps). I view this as a way to maybe “shut them up” for the time being about their complaints. The 12 step programs can be selfish (Concerned chiefly or only with oneself) or selfless (the act of sacrificing ones own interest for the greater good).
July 24 - Observe, Listen and Be Quiet
The other day I was in Target in line waiting for a gentleman (somewhere about 65 yrs old) to make his purchases. He had a six pack of O'Douls "near beer" and the young girl asked to see his ID. He got offended at the idea of being asked for an ID and they called one of the head cashiers to help. He told the man that there was alcohol in the O'Douls and he would have to show an ID, as these were the store rules. The man said "I refuse to show my ID". The young head cashier took the O'Douls (the six pack) and said "No ID, no purchase" and walked away.
July 23 - The Promises
I can't speak for anyone else about what these promises say, but for me, most of them have come true.
July 22 - Relapse Happens Before It Happens
Relapse is a process, not an event. The relapse process reactivates the symptoms of our disease, ultimately bringing us back to using/drinking. If all it took to recover was to see and admit to having the disease, then relapse would not be a problem. Unfortunately, the disease of addiction is more complicated than that. We have denial, which doesn't leave us overnight. To uncover denial requires that we be honest, open, and willing. Willing to admit our faulty/distorted thinking and see the real truth.
July 21 - Trust the Process
When we are new to recovery it can be a very scary experience. We come into the program and find ourselves in rooms full of people that we have never seen, openly talking about things that have been bottled up in us for years and we wonder how these people can possibly be sharing things like this with another human being, let alone a room full of strangers. We may be setting in the back of the room squirming in our seat and feel that everyone is looking at us and it is very common to feel alone in a room full of people, for many of us.
July 20 - Pain or Pleasure
Posted by a member
So why do so many people stay on the tracks when they see a train coming? I think it's because individuals inherently despise change! As an example, when employees are informed months in advance that their company is about to be merged and layoffs will be in the thousands, many employees do little to prepare for the inevitable. They are so comfortable in their daily routines that they go into denial with the hope they will be the fortunate one who avoids a pink slip. These resisters then discover that the approaching train arrives right on schedule as they are standing on the tracks, and runs them over. Those who were proactive, anticipated change, and acted quickly, got off the tracks and were passengers on another train.
So why do so many people stay on the tracks when they see a train coming? I think it's because individuals inherently despise change! As an example, when employees are informed months in advance that their company is about to be merged and layoffs will be in the thousands, many employees do little to prepare for the inevitable. They are so comfortable in their daily routines that they go into denial with the hope they will be the fortunate one who avoids a pink slip. These resisters then discover that the approaching train arrives right on schedule as they are standing on the tracks, and runs them over. Those who were proactive, anticipated change, and acted quickly, got off the tracks and were passengers on another train.
July 19 - Family Get Togethers
Some of the posts and replys on the daily check in got me thinking about my first couple of family get togethers, SOBER. For over 35 years, I never attended a family function or get together, sober. Everyone was used to seeing Mike, DRUNK or very near it. Still, I was accepted by them. That's what I call unconditional LOVE. Or maybe my family has so many alcoholics/addicts in it, that it was just considered NORMAL, LOL.
July 18 - The Paths we take
There are many paths that we take in life, and the paths are generally chosen at young ages, some at about the time we enter puberty, some after public education, and some a bit later. Our family, friends, environment, education, tragic events and other events in life have a big impact on which roads we will travel in life. For a large part of the young, paths of higher education is chosen, for others they follow the paths of their parents in securing an occupation, marry and have children of their own and lead what we in recovery call, “normal” lives.
July 17 - Open Mindedness
Open-mindedness can mean a lot of things to ME. I started thinking back about 35 years when I became a first line supervisor for box plant. They put us through a lot of management training which was ongoing. One thing that really stuck in my mind was when one of the instructors said that everyone has something to say.
July 16 - The Years the Locust has Eaten
A lot of people don't enter their alcoholism or addictions until later in life due to different circumstances but for many of us it is there waiting to "attack" us. Here is a story posted by a member awhile back that might relate to folks in that category.
July 15 - Repetition in Recovery
I'm sure some of the members that have been with me for a few years might have noticed that I've gone back and brought up threads that we had in the past on various discussions boards we had. Some may call it being repetitious, and I would have to agree. BUT...........repetition of living clean and sober is just what I need for ME to stay that way.
July 14 - Acceptance
Acceptance, in spirituality, mindfulness, and human psychology, usually refers to the experience of a situation without an intention to change that situation.
Acceptance does not require that change is possible or even conceivable, nor does it require that the situation be desired or approved by those accepting it.
Acceptance does not require that change is possible or even conceivable, nor does it require that the situation be desired or approved by those accepting it.
July 13 - Change
I picked "Change" as a topic for today, because I guess I'm seeing a lot of it in my life. Things are changing in several
different parts of my life, some of it I like and some of it I don't. There’s change in my home life, change in my work life,
spiritual and in my life in the program
different parts of my life, some of it I like and some of it I don't. There’s change in my home life, change in my work life,
spiritual and in my life in the program
July 12 - Isolating
Isolating
"The less people tolerated us,
the more we withdrew from society,
from life itself.
As we became subjects of King Alcohol,
shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down.
It thickened, ever becoming blacker.
Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 151
"The less people tolerated us,
the more we withdrew from society,
from life itself.
As we became subjects of King Alcohol,
shivering denizens of his mad realm,
the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down.
It thickened, ever becoming blacker.
Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand."
Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 151
July 11 - Conditions in sobriety
Conditions in sobriety
I was told by my first sponsor early on that if I ever put conditions on my sobriety I would drink agian someday, somewhere, and somehow. I took what he said to heart thank God. To date by the grace of God I have been a survivor, not a ''victom of'', family members passing, people in the program going back out, some returning, some not, and a divorce of five years. Nowhere in the Big Book did I read that sobriety would be easy but I was told it would be worth it, and today I believe it to be true.
I was told by my first sponsor early on that if I ever put conditions on my sobriety I would drink agian someday, somewhere, and somehow. I took what he said to heart thank God. To date by the grace of God I have been a survivor, not a ''victom of'', family members passing, people in the program going back out, some returning, some not, and a divorce of five years. Nowhere in the Big Book did I read that sobriety would be easy but I was told it would be worth it, and today I believe it to be true.
July 10 - Alcoholic or other?
Posted by a member
"Someone very close to me is convincing himself that he's one of the 'other' types of drinkers the Big Book talks about. How can you be certain you're an alcoholic, and not just a heavy drinker, or occasional drinker?
"Someone very close to me is convincing himself that he's one of the 'other' types of drinkers the Big Book talks about. How can you be certain you're an alcoholic, and not just a heavy drinker, or occasional drinker?
July 9 - What about the Good Stuff?
What About the Good Stuff?
A member shares:
"The hand is always reaching out. The newcomer is always arriving. I want to always be here. Nothing ensures my sobriety more than intense work with another alcoholic/addict.
A member shares:
"The hand is always reaching out. The newcomer is always arriving. I want to always be here. Nothing ensures my sobriety more than intense work with another alcoholic/addict.
July 8 - Relationships in sobriety
Relationships in sobriety
(A member shares)
“I have been sober for eleven years now and have done fairly well in this time, as far as I can tell. About a year and half ago I made some big life changes by moving in with a woman I didn't know very well, but who was fully aware of my alcoholism. However, since then, I've found myself dealing with intense angry episodes that have put myself and her in a tense situation often. I am aware that this is no doubt unhealthy and I likely need to seek outside help.
(A member shares)
“I have been sober for eleven years now and have done fairly well in this time, as far as I can tell. About a year and half ago I made some big life changes by moving in with a woman I didn't know very well, but who was fully aware of my alcoholism. However, since then, I've found myself dealing with intense angry episodes that have put myself and her in a tense situation often. I am aware that this is no doubt unhealthy and I likely need to seek outside help.
July 7 - Attitude
Attitude
Attitude has a lot to do with how we feel, and how we deal with whats going on around us. If I wake up with a good attitude, more than likely, things are gonna go good for me that day.
Attitude has a lot to do with how we feel, and how we deal with whats going on around us. If I wake up with a good attitude, more than likely, things are gonna go good for me that day.
July 6 - Step Two
July 6th - Step Two
Step Two: Was there really a power greater than myself? But I was invincible; there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do if I set my mind to it! Anything I tell ya, anything but not drinking or taking drugs. I tried so many times to quit drinking and drugging, but could never manage more than a couple of days at a time unless I was incarcerated.
Step Two: Was there really a power greater than myself? But I was invincible; there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do if I set my mind to it! Anything I tell ya, anything but not drinking or taking drugs. I tried so many times to quit drinking and drugging, but could never manage more than a couple of days at a time unless I was incarcerated.
July 5 - Step One
Milkman’s Reflections in Recovery – July 5th Step One
Step One: Admitting that I was an alcoholic/addict was very simple to do. The tough part was truly believing I was.
Step One: Admitting that I was an alcoholic/addict was very simple to do. The tough part was truly believing I was.
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